Waiting to Hatch

You know how sometimes you can be surrounded by hundreds of people but still feel completely alone. Even when you're with your best friend sometimes, you can feel alone. It's amazing how unique each person's circumstance is and how differently each person handles certain situations. But in the same way, you can be completely alone and feel so supported and loved and not at all alone.

For those of you who don't know, I have a cousin that I'm very very close to. She's an only child and I have no sisters, so we're more like sisters to each other. In looks, we're almost complete opposites. Tall vs. short, blonde hair vs. brown hair and so forth. But we'll act and think the same way sometimes. This cousin is also 2 years older than me and has just gone to college. When she was still in Sparkle City, there were many times when one of us would call up the other (usually when we had a problem) and we'd meet at Barnes & Noble and get mocha fraps (my fav!). The other day, I was craving some coffee just because I was so worn out with school and violin and I needed a sugar/cafine high. So, I went to Barnes & Noble and it was amazing. It was the safest and most satisfied I had felt in weeks just knowing that that place held so many memories. Sure there were a couple of people I knew there doing their homework and stuff, but I wasn't with anyone. I was only in there for like 2 minutes, and yet God still took the opportunity to nudge me and say, "Hey, remember all those times. You're loved. Not just by me, but there's people out there that truly love you and you aren't alone. You don't have to feel so deserted." Of course after that, I cried half-way home but the moral of the story is we're never alone. Not only will God never leave or forsake you, but there are people out there who love you. Not like high school dating "love" or my crazy "love" of Gilmore Girls, but real love.

This might be one of those things that only makes sense to me. Or if you're reading this you might be thinking, "Ok, so she had some fun times with her cousin. Whoopdi-do." And if it doesn't make sense, I'm sorry. Sometimes the thoughts in my head aren't really made of up words, and those who know me best know that in those cases I make really odd noises and motions, but I can't very well do that on the computer. When all of this happened, it reminded me of a very personal song:

I'm all alone again
No one here to feel the same
I didn't mean for it to be this way
Why am I a recluse
As the breeze passes
I realize I'm alone

I'll keep pressing on
But it's not fair God
Do you realize that
Do you realize I'm in pain
I can't find you
All I have is faith
But even that is weak
I don't wanna be alone anymore

Do they know I'm here
Or am I invisible
I try to hold the tears but they still seep out
As the emptiness
Fills my ear I realize
that I'm alone

I'll keep pressing on
But it's not fair God
Do you realize that
Do you realize I'm in pain
I can't find you
All I have is faith
But even that is weak
I don't wanna be alone

Where is that comforting power I read about?
Where are your loving arms?
I'm giving you all I have
I wanna feel your grace
Your presence

I'm surrenduring
My heart and love to you
You heal me with your loving arms
Pouring out your love
You have found me
All I want is embrace, your comforting power
Lord, I know I'm not alone anymore




Ok, sorry for the like super serious post. Class was boring today so I had a lot of time to think about stuff. I promise that my next one will be more light hearted. I hope everyone has a great day. Love y'all!

posted by Shari @ 7:30 PM