Waiting to Hatch

Bowling

2008-04-10T21:19:00.000-07:00

There are sometimes that I still am shocked by the fact that I have responsibility. I'm not supposed to be old enough to be in charge of my life. And there are many days that I hope when I wake up in the morning I could be back in kindergarten when I was considered one of the "smart" kids. (Just in case anyone doesn't already know this, at Furman no one is smart. If even if you are a perfect student you still know nothing! And none of us are doing our best! Ok, sorry back to my point) But I've also realized that part of being an "adult" and a college student is knowing when to be irresponsible. For example, I have a paper due tomorrow. I've worked on it some but am not even half way done. After our leadership team meeting tonight we got a call. An invitation to go bowling. Several other people on leadership are in the same english class as I am and most of them have less done on their paper (or possibly nothing). I insisted that we go (um, it's fellowship) and persuaded my friends to go. This probably seems irresponsible, but I still think it was a wonderful decision. Bowling alleys are special places, because you can find all types of people in bowling alleys. College students, bowling teams, teenagers who aren't allowed to go anywhere else, people who are amazing and bowl like all the stinkin time, people who view the bowling alley as their own personal bar, and even cute little chubby asian kids (there was one in the lane next to us :D). There's also something about a bowling alley that makes me talk louder, laugh harder, and cheer for almost any number of pins left in the lane. It's just wonderful. I will inform you though, that being the stressed out, "our life is so hard here at one of the best and prettiest schools in the state" students that we are, there were some text books and flash cards that were brought along. Ooh, I also want to tell you that I was one pin away from getting a turkey! That really had nothing to do with the whole "irresponsible is sometimes good" point that I'm trying to make, but I still want people to know. Anyway, I guess I'm saying all this to encourage people to relax sometimes. So yea, I'll probably get a little less sleep tonight and might not feel the greatest tomorrow, but if those are my main problems, then I'm doing pretty good.

*I want to add a disclaimer that I don't throw papers to the side all the time. And that responsibility is a good thing. Just give yourselves a break sometimes. Ok, that's all.

Needtobreathe, mostly.

2008-03-09T10:42:00.000-07:00

I can't remember how many blogs I've started in my mind the past couple months, but this is the first one to actually make it to a screen. But don't get your hopes up for something amazing. I just have a little extra time. That's not true. I should be working, but I kind of have time, my computer works, my brain is really full of stuff and I won't be able to focus on anything else until I empty it somewhat.

Last night I made a last minute decision to go to the Needtobreathe concert. It was $10 and I'm working a lot less this term, so it took a lot of convincing to write that check. But I'm happy to say, it was completely worth it. These guys are very talented musicians and obviously love what they do. They are one of my favorite bands for many reasons. But what really impressed me last night was their humility. I've never seen anyone perform with so much appreciation. The lead singer and drummer both graduated from Furman. This is where their music started, and now they were getting to play here for hundreds of screaming fans where just a few years ago they were in our seats watching big names like Dave Matthews. It's comforting to know that sometimes dreams to come true. And I'm not talking about cheesy Disney World dreams (I do love Disney World though). It's also comforting to see someone achieve those dreams without getting a big head. I was a little afraid last night that they wouldn't play "Signature of Divine." It's one of their most popular songs, but it has an obviously Christian message. Now, there are a lot of Christians at Furman, but it's very rare that we are ever united as believers. We tend to stick to our groups. It's sad but true. Thankfully they did play it. And I know I'm kind of an emotional person (only slightly :D) but it almost brought tears to my eyes to hear a large group of people screaming, "Yahweh, yahweh, Great is your glory," on our campus without any shame or persecution. Now, I know that some of those people really had no idea what they were saying, but it was still an incredible blessing in which I could just feel the glory of God.

I have lots more thoughts in my head, but I really have to do some homework. This was a nice little release, and thankfully I have some friends that will listen to my ramblings, questions, and realizations and still love me and at least pretend that I haven't bored them to death. Oh, and to everyone that I've been saying I can't drive because my car was due for an oil change 200 miles ago, I accidently read it wrong. It was due for an oil change 2,000 miles ago. So I really really can't drive.

Chillipepper!

2008-01-29T10:01:00.000-08:00

Yay! I'm actually writing a blog again. Sunday night, I got back from Chillipepper. If you don't know what that is, just ask me sometime. It was very exciting for me because my favorite band was there (Jars of Clay!) not to mention it's usually my favorite weekend out of the whole year. There's something about seeing old friends and campers in an environment of organized chaos and complete exhaustion that just warms my soul. Sadly, I didn't get to "learn" a whole lot. I was always either taking pictures or just somehow missed the speakers. But the weekend did confirm my desire and hopefully calling to somehow be fully vocationally envolved in ministry. (I say "hopefully" because the calling part is still confusing) It was also an exciting weekend for me because of the worship. The most involved way that I worship is through singing along. It's something that I'm passionate about. At Furman, I don't get to do that very often at all. I'm involved in BCM but we've had a little trouble getting stuff organized this year. So far there has been very little music. And I don't go to a church where I really get that either. DecembeRadio did a great job in leading worship and I was incredibly thankful for that. You know how sometimes in friendships lots of things change, and the friendship still grows and is fruitful but you don't get to have those fits of laughter or do whatever activity it was that brought you together. But then when you randomly get that chance to do that activity, it's just so joyous and comforting. That was me and God this weekend. I hadn't strayed or pulled away from God, but there was so much going in my life that was new. And God was there for all that, but this weekend I got to relax and I could just worship and enjoy God remember the reasons why I loved him so much in the first place. I was talking to one of my friends about that this weekend, and could only describe that feeling as being right on the edge of tears because I was so thankful to be in a place where the worship was clear to me. I'm not really sure if this makes sense really to anyone but me.

-Ok I have to make a quick interupption to say that Carol, the sweet elderly man that works as the janitor in the chapel, (oh yea I'm at work right now) just explained to me how when it's windy, leaves blow in the door. And it doesn't just happen at one door. It happens at the door down the hall too. And the more the door opens, the more the leaves come in. And that's one way you can tell it's windy. Ok, I'll continue now. :)

Another thing I experienced at Chillipepper was lots of people asking me if I had found a boyfriend since arriving at Furman. I'm not really sure why people associate college with finding a boyfriend, but they do. And I don't say this because I was annoyed or anything, I acutally found it kind of funny. But because of all this, I started thinking about dating. (I mean more than usual for an 18 year old single girl, because it kind of comes up a lot anyway) I don't usually discuss this in my blogs because I don't necessarily want everyone to know what I think about dating, but I'm probably not going to say anything too shocking, so I figure it's ok. First of all, I have not found a boyfriend because I am not searching for a boyfriend. I'm the type of person believes that I should try your best to live as God wants me to, and one day God will bless me with a wonderful amazing godly guy that will somehow care for me enough to make it so I don't have to chase after him. And that day could come tomorrow or 10 years from tomorrow (I'd prefer the first of those two) but that is what I'm trying to do. And an important reason for why I'm saying this is for some of my friends. It's really easy to think that if you are single there is something horribly wrong with you. I've heard a lot of girls say this and it isn't true. Yes, we all have our flaws but we are still beautiful creatures of God and recipients of grace. Ok, I'll step off my soapbox now.

One last thing that is probably only humorous to me. On the way to Chillipepper (while getting slightly lost) we came across a street named Fred King. I mean seriously, Fred King? Who names a street Fred King?

List time!

2007-12-03T16:50:00.000-08:00

Basically I say the things that are bugging me to get them out of my system and then replace them with thoughts of happy things. :)

What I'm not liking right now:
-Music Technology
-Melodic and Harmonic Dictations
-the music library
-juries (not jury duty...it's a music thing)
-the number of people saying I look tired
-looking tired
-not having enough time to all 3 meals...or even 2
-excessive wind

Things I'm loving right now:
-Andy Davis (coming to the Handlebar Dec. 6!)
-random video taping
-coffee, hot tea, and hot chocolate
-Christmas music
-being done with the Messiah concert
-amazing people that do things like bring me Cheerwine or call just to see how I'm doing or make me pretty signs to encourage me and therefore...
-amazing wonderful friends and family...
-and their patient understanding of how i act when i'm stressed/tired
-dinner with old friends
-going to school in the mountains
-Christmas parades
-laughing out of delirium
-Christmas movies
-EVM
-Moravian lovefeasts
-having really good conversations about God and faith and life
-Pianta dancing

Ahh! I feel so much better!

Here goes...

2007-11-01T20:52:00.000-07:00

This blog is mainly just to say a lot of things that I've been thinking/ give explanations for some of my shorts answers to the question, "how are you doing?" And the reason my answers have been so short is because I've been so busy. I know all college students are busy, but even the girls on my hall complain that I'm never around, and I live with them. (But I have been trying to be around more lately because the girls on my hall are absolutely amazing :D ) On the actual question of how I'm doing. It's a complicated answer. First of all, I love Furman. I'm so glad I am going to school here. It is an absolutely beautiful camps. I get to watch a sunset over a lake backed by mountains almost every day. And God has placed some wonderful people in my life that I'm so excited to just keep getting to know better and better. It is really hard. I mean, it ranked #37 on U.S. News' list of best liberal arts colleges in the nation (there are 266 total..oh and Wofford is #59... I couldn't resist). But it's a great school and I'm very happy with my choice. The violin part of me isn't as happy, but that's really personal/if you don't play an instrument you might not understand. Sometimes I love it, sometimes I hate it. That's all I'll say on that for now. Now to the real heart of the story. My spirituality. Intelectually, it has grown a ton. I'm in a program called Exploration of Voacational Ministries, or EVM, that has stretched and pulled my mind a lot. Some issues that I had just decided I wasn't going to deal with thinking about anymore because they were too painful have resurfaced and actually have had some positive directing to clarity. But my personal relational side of my faith has suffered, and tonight I was finally able to pinpoint a couple of reasons why. The first has been a lack of accountability. I was in a discipleship group for 7 years. That group meant so much to me and provided almost constant accountability for most of high school. I guess I didn't really think that I would have to go find that once I got to Furman. I've also yet to find my groove of growth. (alliteration!) Something that's really important to me is worshiping God. I love to sing. Most people back home probably think I'm at Furman to sing rather than play the violin. I love just losing myself in a song and finding who I want to be in God's arms and beauty. And I got to do that a lot back home. Sadly, that has only really happened once or twice since I've been at Furman. Due to some changes in the way things are run and just my crazy schedule I haven't been able to experience that as much. I know there are other ways to worship God, but let's be honest, I'm human and singing in a group of people with a guitar or something is my favorite. I went to an FCA worship thing on the chapel steps tonight on a whim. I've never gone to anything FCA or had really planned on it, but I did with a couple of friends. In the midst of all the float building we had a worship service on the steps of the chapel and it was beautiful. I was able to reach that special connection with God again. It's like my little special secret with God...except not because lots of people like to sing, but you know what I mean. And we had a prayer time that was great and helpful. Another reason I've been struggling a little bit is because friendships change. When I started college, I felt a little like I'd been thrown out into the ocean and I tried to use some of my friends here at Furman and nearby and not so nearby as life support. You can't keep all your friendships in perfect condition. I feel like I've been learning this for the past 6 months but it's kind of important to learn I guess, no matter how painful that lesson can be. Please, don't read this as I've lost all my friends. That's definitely not true. I have some incredible friends, new and old. But like I said, sometimes things change and when you're trying to adjust to lots of new things, comfortable things changing knocks the wind out of you. Because of that I didn't want to deal with stuff. I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts, I didn't want to sit down and pray to try and sort stuff out or figure out what God wanted with all this changing, I just wanted to pretend that nothing had changed. I felt like moving out of my house and having all the responsibilities and meeting new people was change enough. But even with all this change, God blessed me even though I did nothing to deserve it. I know this blog is really personal and I kind of feel like I've just spilled a good portion of me out on a table for everyone to see. But I guess this is my way of being honest with myself. I sometimes can't believe or comprehend something unless I tell someone else. Tonight at that worship service I was broken before God, and that's exactly what I needed and wanted. When I left I kept thinking, "Ok, Shari, what are you going to do to not just let this be a temporary emotional high." So I guess this is what I'm doing for that. I want to add that I don't want anyone to think I'm unhappy. I'm actually really really happy. I've kind of surprised myself at how happy I've been with my stress level, but yes I am really happy. I'm just basically saying it's time to suck it up and officially adjust and get some things back to where they need to be. Wow, this was long. If you made it this far, I applaud you, haha.

2007-10-05T20:56:00.000-07:00

So tonight I went downtown for some much needed Spill the Beans with some of the most fun and hilarious people I know (3 of the residents of F206). And let me just say, that ice cream really does fix problems, even if it just temporary. Filled with jay-walking and awkwardness, the majority of the evening was really fun. We discovered that even with 4 napkins spread over my lap, I can still manage to get ice cream all over my pants. On our way back to the car we were informed about a protest/rally (neither of those are quite the best words to describe) of people holding signs saying things like, "Repent!" and the "Wages of sin is death!" and other signs that were very condemning. They were standing on one side of the street and a lot of other people were watching them from across the street. There was a lot of shouting going on as well. We watched two ladies try and challenge these preachers (they weren't all preachers, but at this hour I'm not sure what word to use that would be appropriate) by holding hands and screaming, "I love this woman!" I almost don't want to describe the scene with too much detail because it was almost sickening watching people divided by a street and signs and yell at each other. And people just kept getting either angry or were mocking. I mean, nothing bad was going to happen, there were police present and no signs that violence would break out, but we saw cars drive by with middle fingers sticking out and some pretty heated discussions going on. I guess I'm writing this just to say that it was a big reminder of how important it is to really love people. Not to shout half a Bible verse at them, or point out their flaws that we feel are holding them back from God, but love them how they are. Accountability is important, but judgement is not something that I need to put into practice, especially considering that I'm a screw-up too! It just kind of broke my heart to see so much division and desire to "win." At some point, some people convinced the police to tell the evangelical (still not quite sure what word to use) to move and they started shouting back across the street excitedly, "They're leaving! We got them to leave!" like the whole thing was a game or competition. We really just wanted to go around hugging everyone to try and create some love in the atmosphere. I guess my main point, which I'm trying to say delicately to make sure I don't accidentally say anything I don't mean to (I have a problem with that) , is love people. Because God loves you and me and them and everyone. So yea. Love, because in my simple mind, things seem to work better that way and it seems like that's how God intended things.

Furman

2007-09-17T19:00:00.001-07:00

I'm writing this blog because many people have asked how Furman is, and I haven't really had adequate time to explain to anyone. So here it is. Furman is going really well, actually a lot better than I expected. Some of you may know that I was really nervous about going to college. Fewer of you know that I spend many nights this summer stressing/freaking out about my next 4 years here. I was honestly terrified. Ok, so the first night was really rough, and parts of O-week (that's what we call orientation for you non-Paladins) were extremely awkward. But things started to look up very quickly. First of all, I have a really fun hall. There's not a girl on my hall at this point that I could say I don't like. There's a square/rectangle of us on our end that share very common beliefs about God and our relationship with him and that's been amazing and encouragin. Also, most of our little block has a bit of an obsession with The Office. And when I say a bit, I mean I've probably watched The Office almost everyday I've been here...which is 13 days. and it usually ends up being like 6 of us that watch it. It's pretty much amazing. I also really like my classes for the most part. I've discovered that Spanish is a whole lot easier after you've learned it once before (I'm in the advanced beginner class, so I'm kind of getting to start over). Music History is really really interesting and I actually, surprisingly, found myself liking Music Theory today. So far all we've done in Music Technology is learn how to use a mac, which was kind of boring, but we get to play with gadgets. It's also really nice to be playin in a college orchestra. It's challenging, and we aren't every treated like idiots. It's productive and actually really enjoyable. Another thing I've discovered is the lake is really peaceful. Eating breakfast by yourself by a huge window overlooking the lake is a great way to start a morning. A few weeks ago I went to visit one of my best friends at Anderson, the college I almost went to. After spending an afternoon there, I knew that I wouldn't have been happy there at all. The atmosphere is just totally different and I can't praise God enough for leading me to the right choice, even though I wasn't sure of that until almost 2 days after i got here. So I guess the main point of this is to say praise God. He is so faithful. I could talk about that for a lot longer, but I do have some homework to finish. I hope all you are seeing God's glory.

O-Week

2007-09-07T22:45:00.000-07:00

My first college blog! Yay! I am now on the home stretch of O-week, and I gotta say, it wasn't as bad as some people have said and I was expecting, but it's not as good as the brochure says. But really the main point of O-Week is to scream. We scream a lot. And once you accept the fact that you're going to have to scream a lot on command, it gets a little easier to handle it all. When you hear other people screaming, you scream. After 4 days of this, it's kind been engraved on my brain to scream. It's become pretty much involuntary. Tonight I watched The Newsies which, if you haven't seen it, is about newsies starting a strike a forming a union to lower how much they pay per paper to sell. It's a strike, so there is lots of screaming and jumping (it's also a musical). I caught myself several times about to scream, thinking I was supposed to join in. And I almost felt bad for not joining in, like because of me the newsies were not going to get their demands met. People say college changes you. It has apparently morphed me into a automatic screaming machine. For those of you at home, know that I am having a good time, but I do still greatly miss and love all of yall. :)

Free Hugs

2007-08-27T09:17:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

This video made me smile a lot. Have a nice day :D

More Lessons Learned (and a fun picture)

2007-08-20T22:28:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share on my blog some thoughts thave (that+have=thave...sometimes I like to leave in my typos) been going through my head the past couple of days. Saturday, I went to visit some friends at North Greenville, which was wonderful because I have some amazing/fun friends friends there. One of them, Anna, asked me at one point how I had been doing spiritually since Seesalt. Now, you'd think that coming off a summer where you taught God's word and sang praises and saw kids come to Christ all the time would leave you on a spiritual cloud/mountaintop/high for weeks and weeks afterwards. What catches you offguard, and I'm sure most staffers could back me up on this, is the withdrawal. It's hard to go from Seesalt to home. And the usual Seesalt withdrawal challenges were definitely there, but God has been God (who else would he be?) and graciously still taught me lessons since Seesalt. I told Anna about how I was learning more and more to live in God and his will, and about how I'm realizing that a relationship with God can be so incredibly beautiful. And so I kind of want to share a little of that now. I'm learning more and more that things are not going to happen according to my plan. And just because something's doesn't go how I planned, doesn't mean it's bad and I have to fight it with all my might. I think sometimes we get in our head that if something doesn't go the way we planned, it must be because of some huge sin in our lives that's so deep down only God can see it. And then we waste our time trying to plunge something out of us that isn't necessarily there just so that things can turn out how we like. (Sorry if that was a really strange use of words, it is 1:53am) When instead we just need to realize that if obey God and put his desires over ours, his plans will be fulfilled. And His plans are the best. Not ours. Really. John 15 says that if we remain in God, our joy will be complete. I don't know why those verses are so hard for us to believe and grasp sometimes, but it really seems to be. Ok, I kind of went in a direction I hadn't intended to and have now lost my train of thought. So I'm gonna scan really quickly to get back to where I meant to be.

Oh right! The beautiful relationship. On my way home from NGU I started to think about who I imagined I would be at the age of 18 when I was in elementary school. Just to give you a little view into 9-year old Shari's mind, I thought I was going to be be in the top 20 of my graduating class, have long straight hair (I actually had stick straight hair until like 8th or 9th grade - who knew hair could change it's natural texture for no good reason!), have a wonderful boyfriend that adored me, have tons of friends at both school and church, be a track star, and play trumpet. Pretty much none of those are true. But I was actually really pleasantly surprised. When I was 9, I could have never predicted that my relationship with God could be so precious and dear to me. There's no way I can accuragely describe and when I try, I just get a huge smile on my face. And I still have a great life, even without the trumpet and boyfriend. It just deepened my realization that it's ok for things to not turn out the way I plan, and in many cases it's God's will. And praise God for it! I mean, really. Would my life be nearly as much fun or wonderful if I were a track-running genius with beautiful straight hair, but someone with a minimal relationship with God? I don't think so. I think it might be possible that I write these things more so for my benefit than of those who read this. It's good to get this stuff written down I think. But if you did make it throught this long thing, I applaud you because I don't think I even have the focus to even proof-read it. Hope you enjoyed!

I put this in here because cowbells are brass like trumpets. It's a picture to satisfy my inner 9-year old :)

What I've been learning...

2007-08-01T07:46:00.000-07:00

I spent my summer (as I'm sure all of you know) working at Seesalt, which is in my un-biased (hah) opinion the best camp ever. I get to work with great people and some amazing kids. There are several great stories I could tell about this summer, but instead I wanna talk about what I learned. Just in case anyone wants to know and also so I won't forget. So, here goes...

Lesson #1: God is faithful.
Probably the biggest lesson God taught me is that He is faithful. I knew this before the summer, but I don't think I really understood. The first week my group was completely silent. I could not get the to participate, answer questions, laugh, anything. I didn't feel like I could connect with them at all. At some point during the week, I came across Galatians 6:9 which says, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." So I decided to not be too disheartened and just keep persevering...and expected that harvest to arrive around Thursday. It didn't arrive on Thursday. Thursday was just as bad as the first day. But then, Friday. My kids started talking and answering questions and actually seemed to be getting something out of what I was saying. I kept trying to do good and God was faithful. And through that, I also realized that His timing is perfect, mine is not. There were so many other little moments when I God just revealed to me his faithfulness. He provided unexplainable comfort exactly when I needed it to get through my day - not when i thought I needed it, but when God knew I needed it. Because of this summer, I know that I'm going to be able to survive college. I'll be honest, I'm somewhat terrified to go to college. But God is faithful, and as long as I keep persevering to do good and follow Him, He's going to achieve what he needs to.

Lesson #2: Only God will satisfy.
I love my friends and family a ton, and I'm fortunate enough to have very dependable family and friends. I try my best to fully depend on God, but unfortunately I fall short a lot. I went on a mission trip during one of our off weeks and it was quite a challenge. I was exhausted, sick, and in charge of a group of high school students that didn't necessarily want a leader. I was sure that I was doing a horrible job despite a lot of effort. One night in chapel I was just asking God over and over to let me know what was wrong with me. I started to pick apart my life, my mind, and my heart. By the end of chapel I had come to the conclusion that I desperately needed God. Not just to eternally save me, but to make me complete, to make me feel whole, to give me peace and comfort. At that point there was no one else on earth that could provide real comfort. I am so incredibly grateful that God brought me to that humbling point that reminded exactly who my Almighty Saviour is. He is everything I need and exactly what I need. Isn't it great that God brings us to where we need to be? Yay for his love! Haha, sorry, I get excited :)

Lesson #3: Love through grace.
The Bible says to love everyone. For so long I've been trying to do that by trying to figure out qualities I like in people and trying to force love that way. (I know I sound like an unloving snob, but I'm just talking about rare cases, not everyone. I really do like and love people usually with ease.) We are supposed to love through grace. God has grace on them just He has grace on me, so how can I not love them? Does that mean I have to perfectly get along with everyone. I don't think so. God gave everyone a unique personality, and it's not realistic to think that they work together perfectly. But it does mean that I need to love. I don't need to cut people down. I don't need to not forgive anyone. It also helps me to love my friends that I'm already close to more. When you love people because of who God is and what He's done and because of who He's created everyone to be, it just make things....kalos...haha, good and beautiful. That's the lesson I'm trying to really put into practice. Because well, faith without action is dead. (James 2:26)

Ok, so there are many other things I learned, but these are probably the 3 main points. Because, well everything works in 3. Haha, that and if anyone has actually made it through all of this, I applaud you and reward you by not writing anymore. Anyway, God's awesome. That's pretty much it.

Seesalt Funness

2007-06-17T18:22:00.000-07:00

This is a hopefully progressive blog of random fun quotes from Seesalt. Hopefully, I'll remember to keep up with it. So far, it's very short.

"Well, be struck, cause I like it!" - Scott

Me: Lauren, when did you get your sheep?
Lauren: Well, I got my first one in 6th grade, but it was killed by a three-legged dog.

"Porque?!"

"Shari, someday, you'll get a notebook man and be able to say God is good...and then you can share the same dental floss!" - Anna

"Yea, about that." - Scott

Anna: I thought all the Black Eyed Peas were black.
Taylor: Well, one of them is.
Anna: Oh, well is it the black guy?

"...keep gettin stranger and stranger." - Lauren

My Name is Earl/The Office

2007-05-10T19:50:00.000-07:00

I know I have a bad habit of just putting lots of quotes in my blogs....but you can get over that, right?

These two shows absolutely crack me up in their own special ways so I thought I'd put some of my favorite quotes in here. I hope you enjoy! (And well, if you don't, I'm having enough fun reading them as I put them in)

My Name is Earl:

Earl: How was your first day of school?
Randy: Great! I really enjoyed science class. Did you know that before we were humans we were monkeys?
Earl: Really? What were we before monkeys?
Randy: I don't know. I can't even remember being a monkey.

Darnell: Here's the food.
Earl: Thanks, Crabman.
Darnell: Hey, I've been thinking about coming up with another phrase for when I drop off the food.
Earl: I have no opinion on that.
Darnell: Yeah, it's tricky.
Randy: I like 'Here's the food," 'cause that's what's happening.

Earl: Randy was not stuck in a chimney, which is good, because it means he learned his lesson from the last two times.

Donny Jones: (to Earl)No if you'll excuse me, I've gotta help a prayer buddy in the garage. When he showed up I thought he was speaking in tongues, but it turns out he was just back on the stuff.

(To the woman at the floral shop.)
Randy: Ma'am, these vases always gonna make that sound when I'm drying them. The squeakin' makes my toes hurt.

Randy: Look at his hands Earl. They're like lobsters. But without the rubber bands to stop him from biting us with his hands.

Randy: If you make friends with anybody, make friends with the tall guy. I know where there's a frisbee stuck in a tree.

Earl: You know, I bet there are a lot of girls out there that would like the real Randy.
Randy: All I need is one. One that hates cats, and birds, and pickles, dill pickles not the bread and butter kind. And Wednesdays, she's gotta hate Wednesday's too.

Earl: We got to Hendersonville late because Randy turned the directions into a paper airplane to see if it would lift the car off the ground. It didn't and we lost the directions.

Joy: My deaf lawyer said that if I could pass a lie detector test saying I didn't steal that truck, it'll help my case. So I stole this old one from a swap-meat.

Earl: Look! Shampoo that's not tested on animals. I feel bad for those lab animals running around with dirty hair, but if it's better for the environment, that's the sacrifice they have to make.

The Office:

Michael Scott: Yeah, I went hunting once. Shot a deer in the leg. Had to kill it with a shovel. Took about an hour. Why do you ask?

Dwight Schrute: Would I ever leave this company? Look, I'm all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I'm being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly, I'm going wherever they value loyalty the most.

Oscar: Both my parents were born in Mexico, and they moved to the United States a year before I was born, so I grew up in the United States... my parents were Mexican.
Michael Scott: Wow, that is a great story. That's the American dream right there, right? Um, let me ask you, is there a term besides 'Mexican' that you prefer? Something less offensive?

Dwight Schrute: I come from a long line of fighters, my maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War II veteran. He killed twenty men and then spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp... My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life... different kind of fight.

Dwight Schrute: I.D. badges are long overdue. Security in this office park is a joke. Last year, I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day, with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?

Michael Scott: That is a perfectly good mini Christmas tree. We are going to sell that to charity because that is what Christmas is all about.

Pam Beesley: Jim cannot speak until he buys me a coke. Those are the rules of Jinx, and they are unflinchingly rigid.

Stanley: Collard.
Michael Scott: What?
Stanley: They're called "collard" greens.
Michael Scott: No, no. That's offensive. They're not called "collard" people.

Michael Scott: Okay, you know what? I will not donate my winnings to Comic Relief, since apparently, it doesn't exist. I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Jim Halpert: The aid to Afghanistan?
Michael Scott: No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Phyllis: Afghani.
Michael Scott: What?
Phyllis: Afghani.
Michael Scott: That's a dog.
Pam Beesley: No, that's "afghan."
Michael Scott: That's a shawl.
Dwight Schrute: Canine AIDS?
Creed: Humans with AIDS.
Dwight Schrute: Who has AIDS?
Jim Halpert: Guys, the Afghanistanannis.
Michael Scott: Okay, you know what? No. No. AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried.

Tumbling

2007-04-14T09:11:00.000-07:00

As many of you probably know, I used to be a cheerleader. I know, I'm not the typical cheerleader, but there will always be a special place in my heart for that sport (yes, it is a sport-don't get me started). I cheered for 4 years, I didn't love all of it, but I aboslutely loved tumbling. During season, usually about 20+ hours a week were devoted to cheerleading. Needless to say, it got pretty exhausting, but I always found the energy for tumbling (usually, stunting too, but that's a different story). I took tumbling lessons for 3 years, and loved it. When you first start tumbling, you use muscles in your body that you never knew you had. You lose your fear of falling on your head. You forget the fact that running at full speed only to dive into the floor is considered crazy by some people. Because it's fun, and somewhat empowering. There's something about using all your strength to make yourself fly through the air that's just exhiliarating. It was a confidence builder to know that I could do stuff that made people say "cool!" and had a blast doing it. It's also a release. My best tumbling lessons were usually when i came in angry and took it all out on that blue mat. And we worked hard. You can't be out of shape and tumble. It won't work. There's always something more to accomplish in tumbling. There's always a harder trick. But every trick you master, is like a huge confidence builder. It's hard to explain something like this to anyone who has never tumbled, but it used to be a passion of mine, so I try. So you may ask, why would someone quit if they love it so much? Well, I broke my ankle. Three days after I'd gotten my round-off back handspring back tuck. When I went back to tumbling, I tumbled crooked, favoring my good ankle. And I'd kind of gotten out of shape. Had I done a lot of physical therapy and worked really hard, I probably could have fixed these things, but I ended up quitting cheerleading for numerous reasons and there didn't seem to be a reason for tumbling anymore. I miss those days a lot, but that was almost 2 years ago now. In 9th grade, my tumbling coach told me that if I continued, I'd be able to do a full by my junior year. By my junior year, I had already stopped tumbling because of the ankle crap, but it's still cool to think about. For those of you that don't know what a full is, here's a video of it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2K0I_z8PcyM

It's just 2 guys doing it over and over again so you really only need to watch for like 3 seconds. Anyway, I just thought of all this because I saw some cheerleading on tv so I thought I'd share with yall the good ole days of when I was a lot stronger and bouncier.

Pslam 103:8-13

2007-04-01T15:26:00.000-07:00

"The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbour his anger forever, he does not treat us as our sins deserve or reapy us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on thsoe who fear him." - Psalm 103:8-13

To be a Christian is to desire to be Christ-like or reflect God. According to this passage that means I must be:
-compassionate
-gracious
-slow to anger
-abounding in love
-not accusing
-not harbouring anger
-not revengeful

Lately, I've been disregarding a lot of these things and greatly hurt myself and others in the process. Otherse that are wonderful people and I have no clue why they're still friends with me because of my great disregard of these guidelines. I pray that they will forgive me. More importantly, I've hurt the heart of God. My Creator and Saviour. My reason for living. I know that He will forgive me because God is perfect, gracious, and merciful. My prayer is for God to purify my heart and help me fit Psalm 103:8-13. I'm currently watching DVD's of Seesalt worship services and I just heart a song that fits me and my thoughts perfectly. The chorus goes like this:

"And I ask you how many times will you pick me up
When I keep on letting you down
And each time I will fall short of your glory
How far will forgiveness abound
And you answer 'My child I love
And as long as your seeking my face
You'll walk in the power of my daily sufficient grace"

Thank the Almighty God for grace.

Because Other People Have Said it Better...

2007-03-11T19:54:00.000-07:00

There are some amazing songs out there, some of them that have fit me perfectly. Some of them just have a beautiful arangement of words, and so in this blog I want to celebrate these people and the words instead of mine. because some people have just said it better...

"I don't have a line of prospects that can give some kind of peace
There is nothing left to cling to that can bring me sweet release
I have no fear of drowning
It's the breathing that's taking all this work"
-"Work" by Jars of Clay

"Baby, don't you cry, 'cause I got it all figured out
You always make me sad
But that's what true love is all about
Rivers never fill the oceans
But oceans always feel
The waters reaching deep inside them
I guess they always will"
-"Mirrors and Smoke" by Jars of Clay

"More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
The battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
And wash the feet and cleanse my pride
Take the selfish, take the weak,
And all the things I cannot hide
Take the beauty, take my tears
The sin and soaked heart and make it yours
Take my world all apart "
-"World's Apart" by Jars of Clay

"You never minded giving us the stars
Then showing us how blind and unaware of You we are
You painted me a picture and showed me how to see
Though I just won't behold it
Unless it pertains to me..."
-"Unforgettful You" by Jars of Clay

*There are lots more Jars of Clay lyrics that I love, but I can't put them all here so I am switching bands now.

"This is gonna bring me clarity
This'll take the heart right out of me
She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed "
-"She Is" by The Fray ....what almost every girl wants to hear

"It's hard I must confess
I'm banking on the rest to clear away
Cause we have spoken everything
Everything short of I love you
You right where you are, from right where I am
Somewhere between unsure and a hundred
And who's to say it's wrong
And who's to say that it's not right
Where we should be for now"
-"Hundred" by The Fray

"If I say who I know it just goes to show
You need me less than I need you
But take it from me we don't give sympathy
You can trust me trust nobody
But I said you and me we don't have honesty
The things we don't want to speak
I'll try to get out but I never will
This traffic is perfectly still "
"Trust Me" by The Fray

"O, and when the love splills over,
And music fills the night,
And when you can't contain your joy inside... then
Dance for Jesus,
Dance for Jesus,
Dance for Jesus and live,"
-"Untitled Hymn" by Chris Rice

Ok, that's all for now, but i might add more later. Oh, and I know this might have only been fun for me, but well, it's my blog :)

rain :)

2007-03-01T14:02:00.000-08:00

Contrary to most people, I like the rain. Ok, i really don't like the bottom of my jeans getting wet and making me cold, but other than that, I like the rain. It's refreshing and calming. And there's something about rain at my house that I think is beautiful. Right now, I'm sitting in my kitchen. From my kitchen, I can see a section of the lake, the whole pond, and the creek. Oh, and lots of trees. I think my yard is great in the sunshine too, but there's something different about the rain. Very rarely do you see sunshine hitting the ground. You can see the color from the sunshine but except for those few occasions where you can clearly see rain, you can't see the sunshine hitting the ground. Things seem infinite, like everything goes on forever because the sunshine extends. (This is kind of hard to explain, and may not make sense to anyone but me, but I'm trying.) With the rain you see it hitting the ground. Right now I see the rain bouncing off leaves, dripping in the lake, pond, and creek, causing the creek to grow, splashing on the deck, puddling up on the ground. But because I see it here, I can't see it in other places. It doesn't seem infinite. Our plot of land seems enclosed and peaceful. Like, maybe today, all my problems that extend farther than this plot of land can't touch me. I know this isn't true, but it's a soothing feeling.

Rain is also something that is very cleansing. For example, Little Car (for those of you that don't know, that's my Honda) is very nice and shiny today. All the dirt has been washed away. Water gives physical life, and right now, everything outside is getting a little bit of life. Our pond is full, and our creek is steadily flowing, which living in Spartanburg, SC (we've been experiencing a drought on and off for about the past decade) is not always a common site. I'll be honest, I've not been in the best mood the past couple of days. I'm stressed and have had to deal with situations that I don't want to deal with. But somehow, water droplets falling from the sky just make me happy.

Rain also reminds me of love. God knows that I love the rain. God knows that I am amazed by the rain. (I mean really, could you have thought up of a way to irrigate the whole earth and keep it so that humans can still for the most part function normally? I didn't think so) God knows that I needed something to remind me of love. Lately I've tried to be so logical and analytical. I've tried to make sense for people and help people make sense of things. (Which is possibly why this blog makes no sense...I have none left.) I've tried to solve things logically and it hasn't worked. People have misunderstood me because of it, and i've tried to make things right but I've just kept making them worse with my "logic." It's hurt some of my closest friendships which has devastated me. I'm pretty sure that they'll be ok, but it's sad when I can't even focus on God at church because I'm too busy trying to figure out how I'm going to fix these friendships. All that to say, God loves me. And he knew that I needed something as simple and beautiful as the rain. Isn't he amazing? That is all. Sorry it didn't make sense :)

2007-01-07T09:52:00.000-08:00

I'm reading this book called Velvet Elvis, and it's really good. This morning I was reading about Something Bigger. In my book, on pages 74 and 75, there are now numerous things marked and underlined, but one paragraph especially stood out:

"Whatever those things are that make you feel fully alive and like the universe is ultimately a good place and you are not alone, I need a faith that doesn't deny these moments but embraces them. I need a spiritual understanding that celebrates these kinds of transcendent moments instead of avoiding them. These moments can't be tangets. They can't be experiences that distract from 'real' faith. These moments can't exist on the edges, because they are a part of our faith. A spirituality that is real will have to make sense of them and show us how they fit. They are expressions of what it means to live in God's world."

In this section Rob Bell descirbed instances where he felt God's sacredness in an overwhelming way, both good and bad. Instances where he realized there was something bigger holding this world together, holding ourselves together, and holding us to each other. We've all had those moments. On mission trips, beaches, incredible sunsets, in adorable sweet kids' faces, or just a group of friends. But also in funerals, tragedies, and broken hearts. We see that this world, this God that we serve is so huge. And sometimes we put those moments on a different level. Like they are these rare things that we have to seperate and can't touch except for those times when we transcend into them. But in reality, they should be a center for faith. God is everywhere and can be experienced everywhere. I don't want to seperate those experiences of pure joy into a different category. I want to just be in them, in truth, in God whenever I can.

2006-11-12T17:45:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty sure that anyone that reads this knows about Hannah Sobeski. (If you don't, then i probably don't know you.) And as I'm sure you all know, Hannah passed away Thursday afternoon around 4:30. She was faithful all the way to the end. Today was her funeral, excuse me, celebration of life, and it was beautiful. Hannah is not suffering anymore, and praise God for it! A lot of times when someone dies, espeically someone that's only 18, we don't understand. And we don't have to. God knows what's going on, but the problem with not understanding is that a lot of times it can bring doubt. We tend to forget that we are just people and God is God Almighty.

I understand that Hannah has perfect healing now, but I kept thinking, why take her? She was touching so many people. So many people were growing closer to God through her faith and life. That was really the question I had for God. If so many people were being reached for You, why take her? And once again, God amazed me with my human pettiness and his divine greatness. God doesn't just want us to be tools to create other tools. He wants to use us, but we are more than tools to Him. Even though Hannah's story was touching so many lives, Hannah is still God's daughter and He loves her deeply and wants her to be happy. He doesn't want her to suffer. He wants to be with her. None of us are just tools. We should be willing to be tools, but God wants so much more than that with us. He wants us. Not because He's selfish but because He loves us. As a human, that gets kind of difficult for me to wrap my mind around sometimes. An unselfish unconditional love. In the past few months there's been a song that's become really important and appropriate to our youth group:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Chorus:

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

If you haven't heard it, I highly recommend it (it's by Matt Redman). Remember God's love, and please keep praying for the Sobeskis and the Kinards.

Another List...

2006-10-08T20:35:00.000-07:00

So I should go to bed right now, and part of me wants to. But I can't yet, because I'm kind of frustrated now. So I'm gonna make a list and see if that helps.

Things I'm Not Liking Right Now:
-Confusion
-Insults
-Indirect Insults
-homework
-1984
-Arguments
-my hair
-my neck and back
-the Chanticleers

Things I'm Really Liking Right Now:
-Friends that call me just because they care (makes my day!)
-Leaves changing
-Cold weather
-my glasses
-Back Rubs
-Hugs
-Blankets
-Chocolate
-God's presence
-Spending time with friends that I dont' usually get to spend time with
-Needtobreathe
-Prayer
-new dresses
-God just reminding me who He is

Hope you enjoyed! If not, at least I did!

My 90 Minutes As a Bad Kid...

2006-09-25T17:06:00.000-07:00

Today, I went to ISS. That's right. In School Suspension. Me. Honors Student that has never even had detention. Yup. For 90 Minutes today, i was a bad kid. Let me explain....

My first class of the day is AP Literature with a very difficult and unorthodox teacher. We had a small homework assignment over the weekend, that about 2/3 of the class had forgotten about. My teacher comes in and tells all of us who didn't do our homework to standup. Not wanting to lie, I stood up with about 10 of my classmates. His next words were, "Get out! Go to ISS!" Now, usually a missed homework assignment does not result in ISS. Actually, I looked it up in our student handbook (because, yes, I'm a dork) The types of things that do result in ISS are skipping class, skipping detention, vandalism, fighting, posession of tobacco or lighters, and not usually forgetting to analyze a poem. So we all head to the ISS room (which only one person in the group actually knew where it was). We all walk in and of course get weird looks, because, well, we just aren't the type of kids to get ISS. We were each freaking out in our own little way. Some of us were wondering if this was going to kick us out of our clubs, then make up not get into college, and then not get a job and die homeless. Ok, maybe we were over reacting a little. But still, it was a seemingly very serious situation.

Our teacher gave us some work to do and we did it easily. After a while we realized that freaking out gets old and so most of us just kind of relaxed. One of the leaders in our overly punished group decided that we were going to have to go to the principle's office and demand justice. The more sheepish ones of us (including me) weren't exactly thrilled with the idea. When the class period was almost over we were escorted back to our classroom by one of the Homework Doers. It turns out that the ISS was not going on our permanent record but was used as a scare tactic. (Thank goodness!!) But I was faced with "Did you go to ISS this morning?!" during every class. Even though it's a big school, news travels like a salamander being chased with a lit match. (I've never tried that, I just figure that they would run. Even though if you chased the salamander, you would probably have to move the match quickly, making the flame go out. So maybe nothing would happen, but I don't know.) Anyway, so today was an interesting day and I just thought I would share with yall My 90 Minutes As a Bad Kid.

Hannah

2006-08-27T20:49:00.000-07:00

I'm sure that most anyone that reads this has heard about Hannah Sobeski. And I know that many of you have prayed for her. I'm typing this to say don't stop. Earlier this summer, the doctors gave up. The cancer had spread to her lungs and they said she would die within a few days. That was almost a month and a half ago and by the power of God, she is alive! The cancer in her lungs is gone, and the doctors can't explain why. It's an incredible miracle and display of God's love and power. Hannah's story has reached so many people in an incredible way!

But don't stop praying.

On Friday, Hannah was let out of the hospital to become an outpatient. It was the first time she'd been out of the hospital in over 60 days and it was incredible! It has a huge step towards her coming home. But sadly, she was admitted back in tonight. She's been in the hospital all summer, and now her senior year is starting without her. The Sobeski family has amazing faith in God and is not getting discouraged. So, I'm typing this to say, pray. I'm saying it to myself, and anyone that reads this thing. She's an amazing girl and God is using her life in an amazing way through a terrible circumstance. It's a perfect opportunity to experience the power or prayer, and if you don't know her, lemme tell you, she deserves it. I love y'all, have a goodnight.

Hannah's website is www.caringbridge.org/visit/hannahsobeski

2006-08-16T14:02:00.000-07:00

So, I was really in the mood to update this thing. But I wasn't sure what to write. I was sitting here and there's a movie on tv. I can't see it, but i can hear it. The last thing I heard was, "You look...happy." I wonder how many times people look at me and they wonder whether or not I'm happy. I generally have trouble sleeping, and lately I've just had a lot of stuff on my mind. So, I'm sure that there have been times when people have wondered if I'm happy. In fact I know there have been, I've been asked multiple times what was wrong in the past couple of days. (Nothing was wrong, I was just quiet for some reason...which is unusual for me) But when I heard that remark on the tv, it made me think automatically of Proverbs 15:13. The first part of it says, "A happy heart makes the face cheerful." When I read "happy heart," I think of a heart filled with God. True happiness. And I believe that too. Many times when my faith is the strongest I look in the mirror and am pleased with myself-not because God worked some magic on me overnight but because His love is shining through me, literally.

That verse was given to me by a good friend of mine who was an amazing Christian girl. Sadly, she tragically passed away in an accident 6 months ago from Monday. After that accident, it became very hard for me to love. I had the mentality that if I stop growing closer to people, I won't have to worry about going through that pain again. But then I look at that verse. How can I be truly happy, if I don't love the people around me, God's creation. To be filled with God, I have to be filled with his love which extends to everyone. So, here's my hope. That I will be happy. And my face will be cheerful. I'm not sure if anyone is going to read this, but if someone does, know that I love you. Oh, and if you need something to cheer you up, just think of me tripping or walking into a wall. It happens a lot, and generally makes people laugh. :)

My Therapy

2006-07-13T22:38:00.000-07:00

So, it's time for me to do some personal therapy. Just because things have gotten a little crazy and it's fun to make yourself feel better! So, I'll start with one of my lists:

Things I'm Not Liking Right Now:
-packing
-riding in cars for a long time
-the fact that everything in spartanburg closes at 5
-foot cramps
-my lack of iTunes cards
-headaches
-confusion
-cancer
-missing people
-uncertainty
-bathing suits
-my throat
-only staying in places for one week at a time

Things I'm Loving Right Now:
-hope
-prayer
-realizing God
-seeing other people realize God
-scenic pictures
-random pictures
-car rides
-undefined style
-comfy pants
-laughing really hard
-people that make me laugh really hard
-Seesalt staff
-popping my back
-new music
-my hair is finally long(ish)!
-Jeremiah 29:11
-Romans 8:28

Ok, phase one of my personal therapy is complete, now on to phase 2...pictures!!
Totally random, just some of my favorites

Romans 8:28 - "For God causes all things to work for good to those who love him and are called according to his purposes." That was just supposed to be a line, but it's becoming so much more. Love y'all!

Some Songs

2006-05-01T19:12:00.000-07:00

If you know me well, you know that music occupies a huge part of my life: listening to it, practicing it, changing it, trying to create it, it's there. Well 3 songs in particular have had a lot of meaning to me lately, so I thought I'd share

1. "How to Save a Life" - The Fray

I became hooked on this song through my dear Amy Kate and Grey's Anatomy, two things that are very very precious to me, haha. But anyway, when I first listened to it, I was like, "Ooh! I like how that sounds!" So, I purchased it off iTunes. As I started to listen to it in my car I'd hear lines that I was like, "wow, I know exactly what that means!" It's about saving a friendship. I've been friends with most of my closest friends for a while now. Needless to say, people change a good bit in high school. Some bad, some good, some neither. Either way, you can't keep people the same. The chorus of this song says, "Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness, And I would have stayed up with you all night, Had I known how to save a life." The song describes the conversation that is meant to salvage the friendship. One friend's desperate plea for the other to come back to sanity, a moral standard, good judgement, or maybe just them. I love my friends, probably more than they know. And when the amazing relationship I have with them starts to deteriorate it breaks my heart. People change. Friendships change and sometimes you're left wondering, "How did this happen?"

2. "Breathe (2am)" - Anna Nalick

Another wonderful song that was on Grey's Anatomy (can you tell I like that show?). This past year has been, to say the least, stressful. There have been so many questions that I just don't know the answer to. So many new problems that I have had no idea how to solve. I guess you could say it was a big "learning experience," to give it a positive outlook. Sometimes I just have to breathe. I have to stop worrying about everything and breathe. I remember the day of my concerto concert, I was so nervous and worried about everything. I played this song in my head all day, "cradle your head in your hands, and breathe, just breathe, oh breathe, just breathe." Sometimes we can't help our situations. Sometimes, no matter what we do, no matter how hard we try, no matter how much of ourselves we sacrifice, it's not gonna get easier or better. It just is and it has to be that way. (Let "it" represent whatever you want) God's not going to give us something that's impossible (considering we can do anything with His help, that's kind of scary but also comforting). But you have to remember to breathe. Do what you need to do to survive.

3. "Amsterdam" - Coldplay

Ok, stick with me here, because this concept isn't entirely clear in my head, so we'll see how it comes out onscreen. This past year has been a constant struggle between patience and impatience. Yea, i know I'm just a junior and I still have one more year so I should stop being so dramatic. But as ap exams come up and seeing as how next week is our last week of dship for the year (sniff sniff sniff sniff) I can't help but think about time and it's passage. I have two best friends, one of them is thrilled with the thought that we have one more year before we graduate, the other is terribly saddened by that fact. I fall somewhere in the middle. How does this relate to the song? (I feel like I'm writing an ap essay all over again) This song starts out, "Come on, my star is fading, I swerve out of control, If I'd, If I'd only waited, I'd not be stuck here in this hole." In a way my star is fading, and I'm having to find a new star. (Ok, that sounds ridiculously cheesy, but bear with me.) In some ways, my impatience has caused me to swerve out of control to where I have no idea where I am or what I'm supposed to be doing. But in this song it says, "But time is on your side." I not being worked against. This is just how things happen. I can't really blame time. "sick of the secrets, stood on the edge." I'm tired of being ignorant and feeling like the only person around me that is tired of ignorance. But I'm on the edge of getting rid of that ignorance. The ignorance that I have of God and self reliance, the ignorance I have of the extent of my relationship with Christ, the ignorance i have of how much growth a church can foster.

4. "Scratch" - Kendall Payne

So I added one more, shoot me. Don't worry it's short. Just to contradict almost everything I've already said, "It's a big girl world now, full of big girl things, and everyday I wish that I was small." yea, that's me.

If you managed to read through all of this, you're amazing and I love you, haha, and you must love me. Either that or you're stalking me. Seriously, if you did, I'm impressed and think the world of you for caring. And for those of you that are worried that none of these are technically Christians songs (I mean, I don't think any of them have accepted Jesus as their personal Savior) I'd like to leave you with this quote by C.S. Lewis:

"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."

Love y'all, have a great night!

2006-04-11T21:51:00.000-07:00

So, yea I should be in bed, but I'm still studying for Pre-Cal (even though I really don't think it's helping) and I can't sleep because I was at a coffeehouse for 2 1/2 hours tonight and when you spend that much time in that kind of environment, you consume a good bit of caffine. So anyway, I decided that I would write a blog. It will be interesting to see how this turns out considering that I've been in a bad mood for about 5 days now (and no, it's not because of biological reasons). Oh, and just to let you know/warn you/apologize, when I'm in a bad mood I tend to get really paranoid and even more sensitive than I am naturally. So, if I've been weird lately, I'm sorry.

You may ask, "why has shari been in a such a bad mood?" Well, see it's not that my mood is extremely bad, I'm not ticked off at the world or anything. I've just been less than happy for 5 days now and that's a lot for me. So now you may ask,"Why has Shari been less than happy for 5 days now?" (You're persistent.) Well, I guess I will tell you. (That is assuming that someone actually reads this thing.) Last week was Spring Break. For the most part it was really good. I had an absolute blast in Disney World and I got to hang out with some of my favorite people at Furman, Anderson, and other random places. Well, here was the difficult part. I wasn't just hanging out at Furman and Anderson, I was doing college visits. I was a "perspective." (Don't you just love when you get denoted from a proper noun to a simple noun?) Well, my visits weren't really what I had expected. And that was mainly because of what everyone else expected from me. At Furman I was intimidated. I'm not gonna lie, I love Furman, but somehow my visit didn't make me want to rush to fill out an application. So after that, I was expecting Anderson to be a breath of fresh air. I went in thinking, "People always say I'm the weirdest one in the family, maybe it would be good for me to not go to the same school that the rest of my family has gone to." Well, Anderson didn't really wow me either. I don't know, maybe it was because it felt more like a web of concoxions connections rather than a college visit.

Now I would like to say that I hope I haven't offended any of the parties mentioned. I love all dearly and you must realize that this was just how I felt on those particular days. Yea, see, I'm synical and paranoid at the same time. I told you I act weird when I've been in a bad mood.

The whole college visit thing kind of sent me into a mini-panic. All of the sudden I felt like I had to immediately figure out my lifeplan. And at the same time make it fit everyone else's plan that they had created for me. And I mean everyone, my friends, my family, Dr. Joiner, Dr. Stern, Dr. What'shisnamethaticouldn'tpronouncecorrectly. Questions started to creep into my head. What kind of grades do I need? What will my audition piece be? How much time between now and December can I really devote to perfecting another piece? What will people think of me if I'm the only one in my family that doesn't get into Furman? What if I don't know anyone at Anderson? What if I get to college and decide I'm at the wrong school? And billions of other (slightly more personal) questions were wizzing around my head. How in the world am I going to get through all this?

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:33-34

"I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Phillipians 4:13

Isn't it interesting and sad how trying to be "prepared" can veer you straight away from God's vision?
Oh, and don't worry about me, I'll snap out of the bad mood soon enough.

Love y'all, and may God truly bless you.

2006-04-06T17:00:00.000-07:00

I have no good words of my own to share right now, so I thought I would share some other people's...prepare, there's a lot

Gilmore Girls quotes:

Logan: Rory, you're special.
Rory: Like, "Don't eat the paste" special?

Lorelai: [on Michel] He's snarky.
Sookie: And sarcastic.
Lorelai: He's snarkastic.

Rory: Do something to make me hate you!
Lorelai: Um, go Hitler?

Grey's Anatomy:

Dr. Cristina Yang: I get angry when I go without sleep

Dr. Meredith Grey: At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross

Dr. Meredith Grey: I've heard that it's possible to grow up - I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don't go our way, we whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark, we look for comfort where we can find it, and we hope - against all logic, against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope...

Dr. George O'Malley: I know I'm not a lot of things that you've gone for in the past - I know, but I would never leave you. I would never hurt you. And I will never stop loving you...

Dr. Meredith Grey: Pick *me*. Choose *me*. Love *me*.

Dr. Meredith Grey: Denial. It's not just a river in Egypt. It's a freakin' ocean

Dr. Addison Shepherd: I hate this freaking trailer!
Dr. Derek Shepherd: Fine then. No trout for you.

Dr. Alex Karev: For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air. You can't cheat your first kiss. Trust me, you don't want to. Cause when you find that right person for a first kiss, it's everything.

Ed:

Ed Stevens: The fact of the matter is you can't live without me.
Carol Vessey: What?
Ed Stevens: That's right you could move away to Guam, Borneo, Harrisberg Pennsylvania, anywhere, the truth is you'll be making a beeline right back to Stuckeyville. You know why?
[Carol shakes her head]
Ed Stevens: Capital "E" lower case "d"!

Phil Stubbs: Shave my poodle!

[Ed compliments Shirley's "S" on the Stuckeybowl wall]
Ed Stevens: It's very good Shirley.
Shirley Pifko: Are you coming on to me?

[Ed shows up at the high school in a suit of armor to give Carol flowers]
Warren Cheswick: This sucks! I was up all night carving Jello!

Molly Hudson: I just thought I'd spice it up a bit. I mean, why say 'Hello' when you can say 'Hellooooooooo'?

Mike Burton: Who would win in a fight - a big, strong guy or an invisible fat guy?

Shirley Pifko: Bendy straws make drinking more pleasurable.

Ed Stevens: We're circling each other like Venezuelan flamingoes engaged in a complex mating dance.

Dr. Walter Jerome: You don't get to disagree, you knuckle-dragging cretin!

Mike Burton: Hey, guys! Hey, you gotta see this! Kenny's about to stop a bowling ball with his head

Ed Stevens: It says here you went to Tufts University.
Kenny Sandusky: It's in Massachusetts.
Ed Stevens: I know... you graduated with a 3.7? And then you went to nursing school. Kenny, you're a nurse?
Kenny Sandusky: Pediatric nurse.
Ed Stevens: Why do you work in a bowling alley?
Kenny Sandusky: Life is a journey.

Carol Vessey: I can never decide if you're totally adorable or totally creepy.

Ed Stevens: Ten bucks if you call Reverend Carver "Padre".
Mike Burton: Ten bucks if you touch that guy's bald spot.
Mike Burton: Ten bucks if you order your meal in rhyme
Mike Burton: Ten bucks if you go over to that guy and ask him where the lettuce is... only, you don't say lettuce.
Ed Stevens: What do I say?
Mike Burton: Letoos

Mike Burton: I'll give you six bucks to hug the giant chicken.
Ed Stevens: Six bucks? As you know the traditional wager is ten bucks.
Mike Burton: But I've only got six.
Ed Stevens: Forget it!... Wait. I'll give you ten bucks to hug the giant chicken.

Shirley Pifko: [On her lost Mexican jumping bean] Please let me know if you see it. It looks like a regular bean, but every so often it bounces in a rather disappointing way.

Mike Burton: Can't talk. Eating fried pie. Experiencing nirvana.

Ok, so I guess those are enough for my tv quotes, hope you all have a good night!! Love y'all!

A List!!!

2006-03-26T12:05:00.000-08:00

Ok, most of you know how theraputic (I think) these lists are for me. And it was either this or go for a run...and I really don't feel like fixing my hair again so I decided upon this.

Things I'm Really Not Liking Right Now:

-headaches, they occur way to often
-cold weather!
-pre-cal
-us history
-auditions, they're no fun
-my knee
-my cell phone battery
-tripping
-confrontations gone wrong
-shopping for hours without finding anything
-getting up early, it's really starting to annoy me
-grades

Things That I am Loving Right now:

-anything and everything that reminds me of summer
-birds chirping in the mornings
-"A Voice Calling Out" by Bethany Dillon
-"Breathe (2am)" by Anna Nalick
-"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" sung by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
-fun random phone conversatoins
-people that don't get annoyed with my random phone conversations! haha
-pictures!!!!
-my wonderful friends!!
-random outings with my wonderful friends
-dancing (random or planned)
-Spring Break is coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-I'm going to Disney World soon!!!!!!!!!!
-I'm gonna get to hang out at Furman soon!!!!!!!!!!
-Did I mention that I'm going to disney world in a few days?
-Summer is like 2 months away!
-Relaxing music
-Warm starry nights
-Driving on warm starry nights or having really good conversations on warm starry nights, but not inside because that kind of defeats the purpose of the warm starry night
-God's blessings and merciful grace!

2006-03-20T13:11:00.000-08:00

So, it's been like a month since I last wrote on this thing. I'm not going to lie, the past month has not been easy. And since it's been a month, that means that I've got a lot stored up. There's your warning...

Lately, two words that I've been thinking a lot about are perfection and failure. They aren't opposites of each other, but in some ways they go hand in hand, that is if you set perfection as the standard. The word "perfection" does not mean "no mistakes" to me, because no one will ever completely achieve that. To me, it's what you should be. It's the standard that has been set for you. What is expected of you. Some may say that I am completely changing the meaning of perfection, and that's ok. This is just what it has meant to me lately. So what is failure? Not reaching perfection. Falling far from perfection. Or more specifically, having people be disappointed in you. Knowing that maybe you didn't try your absolute hardest, but you still gave an effort, you still tried, you didn't completely give up, you still tried to maintain the standard that is just rawly you, and still came crashing down with the sounds of sighs from those you disappointed and the rolling of eyes that comes with their disbelief of your effort. You drowned while gasping for air but you can't blame anyone but yourself. You aren't going to get any pity and you don't expect any. The only thing that will be said is, "Well, you brought in on yourself." That is failure.

It's a horrible feeling. One that makes it so you can only be completely honest with God. When people have held the opinion of you that you're smart, or talented, or that you have it all together, you don't want to ruin that opinion. You don't want to admit to them, "Yea, none of that's really true." You can't hide anything from God, and when you have the feeling of failure, it makes you think He is the only one who could possibly still love you as much as before. Still welcome you with loving arms. Others may say, that's not true, they'll always love you. But that doesn't mean you always believe them. I guess in a way failure is a good thing. It's a reminder. It's like someone saying, "Look, if you didn't have God in your life, that's all you would be."

Failing is one of those things that most people don't like to talk about. I guess it comes our childhood days of pee-wee baseball or Upward basketball where everyone gets a star or a small plastic trophy because, "Everyone's a winner!" Not that it's a bad thing to make every child feel special, but the subject tends to make people uncomfortable. I'm a person that would rather be honest with myself, and not try to disguise the way I really think. Anyway, enough about failure...

I think I've figured out one reason why teenagers seem to be so confusing. We're confused. Authority figures in general expect us to act like we are 20, but treat us like we're 10. It happens everywhere. I mean, I know that the teenage mind generally works as combination of maturity and immature. But come on. If we are treated like we're 10, we're going to act like we're ten, which just disappoints people more when they have the expectations of us to act like we're 20. I'm not saying that discipline should be completely ruled out. Just that self-discipline should be more encouraged. Because honestly, discipline just usually makes a teenager even more angry. Speaking of self-discipline, I guess I should stop ranting to try to do some homework.

Sorry, y'all had to see a less sunny side of me, but lately that's just how I've felt. But I still hope everyone has a fantastic day, because those are more fun

Sick Day

2006-02-18T18:45:00.000-08:00

I haven't written in this thing in a while. I had planned on writing a Valentine's Day blog, but that night a tragedy happened and, well, it just took me out of the sharing mood. But I'm back to tell of today. Today I am sick (if you couldn't tell that from the nifty title!) and let me tell you, I was miserable.

I've had a nasty cough for the past couple of days but I wasn't expecting it to escalate into this. I've been really tired lately. So tired that I fell asleep last night at about 9:15 during one of my favorite movies, Pirates of the Carribean (I hate falling asleep during movies!!). If you know me well, then you know that I'm not a person to typically be asleep at 9:15. At that hour I'm usually either doing homework or hanging out with friends, but not last night even though I had the opportunity to do both. Several times mom "woke me up" but it was never successful. (the reason "woke me up" is in quotes is because a lot of times people think I'm awake because I respond to their questions with clear words but I'm not awake and won't ever remember talking to you). About two hours my phone rang thankfully, or else I might have been on the couch all night. (another thing i hate is not sleeping exactly how I want to. I get really mad at myself if I stay on the couch all night or fall asleep in my clothes- not that I sleep nude or anything, I'm just not in my pj's, had to make that clear). Wow, this blog has a lot of parenthesis. (Maybe that should have been in parenthesis. It was afterall a side thought. Anyway...) Where was I? Oh, yea. So I talk on the phone for a little bit and watch some tv and I think I fell asleep for maybe 15 more minutes before actually going to bed. By this time it's about 1 or 1:15 a.m.

So mom decides that since I'm sick and haven't gotten a lot of sleep lately she's going to let me sleep in. (She usually makes me get up around 10 or so) I wake up at 12:45. That's right people, half the day has already past. Now, I love sleeping in, but I don't do it very often. I wake up for school every day at 6:15 and I usually have something to go to on Satruday whether it's an orchestra thing or meeting a friend for lunch. And even in the summer, we have Seesalt for most of the summer and i get up around 6:30 there. So whenever I sleep in, I get a terrible terrible headache. It's sad, but true.

So I'm already sick but now I have a terrible sleep in headache to go with it. I thought it would get better as the "morning" went on and I ended up feeling miserable. My body ached horrible, my head felt like it was exploding, my face felt like there a hundred tiny pins in it, I was cold and couldn't get warm, I had a runny nose, my couch was still there but now accompanied by sneezing, my stomach hurt from coughing so much, and pretty much everything else that could hurt did. Thankfull I did have some visitors (yay! I love steven and kelli!) and that did cheer me up a bit. At about 6:30 pm, I finally decided it might be time to get ready and take a shower. (Better late than never!) At this point I felt like cold mashed potatoes, except hollow on the inside. So I took my shower which was amazing becuase I turned the hot water all the way up. I got goosebumps a few times just because my skin wasn't used to anything warm.

The pounding headache didn't go away, nor my coughing/sneezing, runny nose, achey body but I did feel better. And the wonderful climax was my daddy came home! Sure my head and throat hurt to bad to laugh at his jokes and I was too out of it to give any comedic or thoughtful input, but it's still good to have my daddy home. It makes this house, which used to hold 5 people (sometimes 6) feel less empty. Currently I'm still sick. And bored. Hardly anyone got online today. Everyone had up away messages. Why did I have to be the only bum today? Sheishamabob. Anyway, I think I'm supposed to do my homework so I'm gonna see how far i can't get on this. If anyone has any tips for getting better fast, please comment and let me know. I need to get back to my life soon. Love y'all!

Charleston

2006-02-12T19:51:00.000-08:00

"So totally wicked!"

Just thought I'd share a little of Charleston with y'all! It was lots of fun! You should ask me about it!

My Mailbox

2006-02-04T18:51:00.000-08:00

Speeding is not good.

Creative Title

2006-02-01T23:46:00.000-08:00

First of all, I want to show you some pictures of some beautiful people. I spend way too much time around these two people but I love them a ton. So I just thought I'd share some pictures. One is of us at a pep rally all energized and happy. The other is on a church bus during Accelerate weekend when we were very tired, not at all energized but still happy. Although I was in pain because I got chosen as the one to be sat upon, but such is life. We're so crazy. anyway...

Tomorrow is Shadow Day. At Dorman, they have this thing on Groundhog Day where the juniors can pick a person to follow aruond all day based on their career. I know, it's kind of cheesy, but I'm really excited. I'm shadowing my elementary school music teacher. First of all, she is a great lady and I'm just plain excited to get to spend a few hours with her! But also, I get to spend most of my day singing with little kids! How fun is that!! To some people that might not seem very exciting, but let me see if I can try to explain my excitement using a food analogy. Ok, to me this is like eating apple pie a la mode instead of the little crusty squares we use for communion. (I talking about this completely in the physical sense, not spiritual. I know communion is not about taste but about remembering what Jesus did for us and I always think of his body breaking when I eat those. I'm just using the taste of those things as an example. If anyone is offended I am greatlys sorry.) So, yea, I'm excited!! I love music with a passion and I love sharing music with other people and kids are so much fun!! So hopefully it should be a great day and I will try to post tomorrow to give a report of it. I hope everyone else had a splendid day! I love y'all!!

2006-01-24T13:20:00.000-08:00

I apparently take after my brother...

His arms a little crazier though. If this doesn't make sense, see his blog. It's really good. He's an insightful fella.

Two Parter

2006-01-23T17:19:00.000-08:00

First of all, I'm going to do a quick little thing on chillipepper. It was wonderfully awesome! God did some amazing things and just reminded me of how cool he really is. I want to go back so badly, it's so awesome knowing that it really is all about God there. I love being in pure places like that. All the performers/speakers did an awesome job! But now I cannot wait until Seesalt!!! It's going to be a great summer! I love being apart of the ministry of Concoxions. It is such a huge blessing to be allowed to be apart of something were God does such amazing things. Ok, I could go on about that for a really long time but I won't.

I think my parents had chicken stew for dinner. That's what it smells like. (Sorry taylor, I got distracted.)

Alrighty, I'm going to pull a Christopher Cox and talk about how songs remind me of things. I don't normally like to copy people, but he's a really cool guy and we tend to think a lot alike anyway. I've been meaning to do this for a really long time, but I've been busy with homework and such. I should probably be doing my homework right now, but I really feel like I need to do this right now. (sorry mom and dad) Ok, here goes:

First of all, just because I've heard it a lot lately, "Different" by Acceptance. This makes me think of a)Concoxions and b) my life right now. It reminds me of Concoxions because it's in a fabulous video that Taylor made for Seesalt and it was on repeat for like 3 hours at Chillipepper. And it talks about change. Change is something that I've been facing a lot lately, and I normally hate change. In fact, I have for the past 5 months, but I'm finally learning to not only accept it but love it. Who are we if we don't grow and change? Things are gonna change, and it can be for the better if I just allow God to use it that way.

I love my d-group. They are awesome and they are what I think about whenever I heard "Dirty Little Secret." Haha, that probably sounds really wrong to anyone who isn't in our group. I promise it's not as bad as it sounds. It's an inside joke and I don't know if I can really explain it just because we are really odd group of people. So, yea, I'll just leave it at that. haha

Bethany Dillon's sef-titled album. Summertime. I think it's because I got it in the summer and listened to it a lot then, but there's some really good music on that that's just enlightening. It makes me smile and get that warm sunny feeling.

If I Left the Zoo by Jars Of Clay makes me think of the time when my brothers still lived at home. When that cd came out, Christopher was driving both Taylor and I to school and every morning we'd listen to that cd, haha, and I only knew like the first two songs because I was the first drop off. (My brothers actually listen to cd's like straight through in order instead of by favorite song like I do-and they don't like to go back, they listen straight through)

"Company Car"!!!!! This is the song that Christopher and I would sing/scream at the top of our lungs in his car with the sunroof open. Haha, I really don't know why it was that song but for some reason we always got into it. We're silly. But it is a good song.

"You Consume Me" by dctalk (oh, yea, oldschool) always reminds me that I am the youngest in the family with the least amount of education. When I was little I thought it was "You Can Sue Me." My family had a nice laugh when I asked why dctalk wanted to be sued.

Ok, there's a lot more but it has to end because I need to do my homework and I'm having way too much fun remembering stuff now. Haha, wow, the past 16 years have been good to me. God's blessings are awesome. Love y'all! Goodnight!

January 18

2006-01-18T13:34:00.000-08:00

Today is a special day for me. It is my half birthday. It's not a huge deal to be 16 1/2, but it's still a special day. You see, in elementary school, a lot of parents would come eat lunch with their kids on their birhtday. Well, my birthday is in the summer. So, my parents would always come on my half birthday. It's been a long time since that, but I always think about it and how happy it made me when I was little. So, I guess my half birthday is just a reminder of how much my parents love me. I love you Momma and Daddy. Thanks, y'all are the best.

New Favorite Song!

2006-01-15T18:25:00.000-08:00

Ok, folks, this is big. I have a new favorite song! Up until a few hours ago, I'd have to say that "Fix You" by Coldplay was my favorite. "Fix You" is a brilliantly wonderful song, but it's time for it to give up its reign to.... "We're So Far Away" by Mae. Let me tell you why. (Ha, it's not like you really have a choice) What first attracted me to it was the beautiful piano in this song. Not only is it beautiful, but it's also very interesting. The beginning catches your ear with a simple and dramatic opening pecked out on the piano. Also, the whole the time, the background music moves well with the song. It's not just a bunch of isolated chords, but it's not a continuous running stream of 16th notes either. Simply beautiful. Secondly, Dave Gaminez has a great voice. He has the rock voice, but where many rock musicians go wrong is in songs like these. When their voice isn't covered by screaching guitars and booming drums and they have to sing a slower song, the nasaly characteristics of their voice comes out. Gaminez does a good job of not getting too nasaly and keeping some good depth in tone in his voice without sounding like too much of a softie. Ok, now moving out of the musical part. The words. I'll admit that I had to get Taylor to interpret the meaning initially because I was distracted by the music. It's kind of hard to understand, but I think it's about God's amazing plan. All the great things that happen in our lives, we have know idea about where or when they will happen. We have no idea. Isn't that amazing? Faith, it's just an incredible thing. We're a society driven on knowledge, and probably half of all middle school classrooms have a poster in the room that says "Knowledge is Power" yet still in my belief the most powerful thing that a person can posess is faith. Why? Because by posessing faith, it's like giving up all your other posessions. The song also talks about wondering if Jesus knew exactly how big this plan was that he was apart of. It's just something interesting to think about. Well, I'm getting tired of typing, so I hope it was inspirtational or something, I dunno.

Oh yea, I would like to thank Taylor and Christopher for my musical inspirations. In other words, I listen to their music and decide I like it and jump on their bandwagon. :) Goodnight!

Happy New Year!

2006-01-01T09:27:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! It's a time for resolutions, new beginnings (aren't all beginnings new?), and turning over new leaves. Now, I'm not going to get too sentimental about New Year's and all just because as I get older, it seems that I just don't care. Hah, that was blunt. I did have a really fun time with my family and friends yesterday, so I guess the fun has become more important than the event itself. Anyway, instead of talking about the holiday where we all forgive ourselves and repent of our overeating, time wasting, non-productive, and all around bad habits, I want to talk about something that means more to me than a really bright ball descending down a pole.
I kind of think it's sad that it takes a holiday and huge ordeal to make us examine ourselves, physically, mentally, emotionally, and especially spiritually. I wish that I examined myself every morning so that i could spend everyday being the best person I could be, but sadly I don't and I don't know that I ever will (I have a problem with habit forming/committment-you might read about it in a later blog). But needless to say, New Years does make people stop and look at their lifestyles and that's fine with me. Ok, getting to the point finally...God. (No, that wasn't in vain, I meant God as in the guy upstairs.) Where is He in your life? Is He in your life? I know He's in mine, and I wish i could say that He's always been the center of it, but I can't. When it comes down to it (I don't really know exactly what "it" is but try and follow me) He is what matters. Sure school and health are important, but does anyone really want that type of thing to consume their lives?
So what's my New Years Resolution? Today Dr. Driggers, the Executive Something of the South Carolina Baptist Convention spoke in church. He gave two suggestions for New Years Resolutions, and I liked them so I'll share...

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33

I like 'em. As humans, we can try to be as nice, as smart, as physically fit, or as anything else as we want to be and that's all well and good. But in the eyes of the Creator, that's not what matters. How much did we love Him? How much did we serve Him? How much did we try to reach others for Him? How much did we just live completely and fully giving everything for Him? Some people may say I'm making too big of a deal out of living for God, but I don't think so. Why not go all out? If you say you've give your heart to Him, why not give it and not hold back?
Well, it's now time for my family to celebrate Christmas #6 out of 6. I hope everyone has a fantastic day, and good luck with your New Years Resolutions.

The Cast System: Not Just a Social Scale

2005-12-26T08:56:00.000-08:00

Since it's the day after Christmas, you might be expecting some meaningful blog about Christmas, it's meanings (haha, imagine that! a meaningful blog about Christmas's meanings!), or some type of theological/polictical debate with witty comments along the way (since I'm a Cox). Sorry, but it's none of those. It really has nothing to do with Christmas at all. If you would like something like that, I'm sure you can probably go to my siblings' blogs (Taylor, Christopher, and EA are all insightful people with good things to say about Christmas).
Instead this one's about my cast. No, I haven't moved to India, I'm talking about my cast from my surgery this summer. See, this morning I wasn't in a good mood and I felt really sick (and no breakfast + really hot shower = light headedness) so now I'm laying on my bed and resting. Still in the bad mood, I was trying to think of something to cheer me up. I thought of writing in my journal, but I didn't feel like writing. I looked around and saw my two casts from my surgery. I hadn't really read or looked at them since they came off my leg. So I picked them up and started to read. The purple one is really hard to read, because well, it's dark purple. But that's ok, I like the white one better anyway (after people have signed a cast once they don't feel like writing much on the second one). It made me smile and laugh so much. It completely cheered me up!
It's a perfect display of some of my closest friends. It has Steven claiming to be my favorite and then Mollie's protest of course. Kat's lovely clever poem, "You are cool, You're ankle was a fool, But it isn't anymore, Now keep it and your body off the floor." Mellissa and Jason's beautiful drawings. (Mellissa's of a sun and jason's of a Superman "S" for Super Shari of course) Mom and Ea's loving messages that mean so much because they are two people that I will always believe when they say they love me. Kelli's very important "Note to ankle: Stop hurting!! Note to Shari: I love you!!" Christopher's message that shows he knows what's important: " Get better soon so you can drive soon." Funny brubba! Lawton's Simple and unique Lawtony message. Kevin's reminder that he can walk and I can't. (His surgery recovery was a lot faster than mine.) All of this cluttered with my colorful results of boredom and the gift of mini sharpees for my birthday (love those things!). It was a great reminder that I'm loved. I really am. I know God will always love, and I pray that I don't take advantage of that, but I have friends that really do care about me. I didn't think that they didn't love me, but I guess I'd just forgotten in all the recent craziness. I hope that someone today has told you that they love you. And if not, I love you. (I love you even if you someone has told you that today, by the way). And I'm not just saying that, I know pretty much everyone that reads this thing, I and I truly do love y'all. I hope everyone has a fantastic post-Christmas.

P.S.- I checked on the siblings' blogs. Christopher and Taylor have a meaningful Christmas thing, but EA doesn't. But she hasn't updated it in 11 days, so that's ok. I still love her. Hehe

P.S.S. - For all of those who are feeling the need to correct me, I know that the "cast" system used in India has an "e" on the end of "cast." Using cast instead of caste was a play on words. You know, a pun. A (supposed to be) humorous substitution. Ok, you get the point.

Uhhhhh....

2005-12-16T23:28:00.000-08:00

So I haven't written in here in a while, and people have complained so I'm trying to update. Ummmm, wow, I'm not really sure what to write. Let's see, there was this storm thing. Most of you know this. Let's see, a lot a lot a lot of people lost power. We didn't, praise the Lord! And we missed two days of school which is good because well, we missed school! But bad because that means no exam review which causes Shari to freak out. Um, let's see, what else. Oh, we had rehearsal for the Cornestone Christmas Show right inside our house which was crazy because it was like 24 people. Yea, crazy. Ok, that should be enough. I don't know why but lately I just haven't felt in the creative nor writing mood. So, I hope that was good enough for you! Love y'all!

List

2005-12-11T12:57:00.000-08:00

I know that I just put one of these on here, but I'm kind of stressed so I thougt I'd do my stress relieving type of blog. Here goes.....

Things I Can't Stand....
-homework
-chemistry
-exams
-stress
-headaches
-dizziness
-not having enough time
-my scratchy throat
-my swolen ankle
-have I mentioned chemistry?
-certain teachers
-this will be my first Christmas without my brother here
-my first Christmas without Sam
-Furman losing to App. State

Things I Love!...
-Christmas trees
-Phantom of the Opera and Andrew Lloyd Webber
-going to Denny's with friends
-Charlie Brown
-Chrismas movies and Christmas tv episodes
-the little bit of hope that comes from remembering that I won't be in school in a week and a day and 1/2
-the fact that I only have a week and a day and a half left of chemistry
-friends that I haven't seen in a while
-hugs
-back rubs (especially surprise ones!)
-Cornerstone Christmas cast
-Birthday of a King medley
-fun people riding in my car with me
-movies, and lots of them
-getting together with a bunch of friends
-my big SC sweatshirt blanket
-sitting in my living room watching a romantic movie while it's raining
-taking naps in large puppet boxes
-my Barbie shoes!
-phone calls just to talk and not for a specific reason
-hot chocolate when my mommy makes it (mine never tastes right)
-sleeping for more than 5 hours a night (what's that like again?)
-Christmas for Others
-the 13th Ammendment
-the fact that my Christmas tree is 12 feet tall
-Chillipepper is coming!
-scarves
-laughing...hard
-playing really dramatic stuff in orchestra
-toasted peanut buter and marshmallows on bread
-giving people stuff they really really like
-getting excited about the birth and love of Jesus!

:)

Happy Seasonal Christmas Holiday Greetings

2005-12-11T12:35:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been very confused about whether to say Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, or Seasons Greetings. I never knew that two words could cause such a huge controversey. When I was younger, I used to get mad when store windows and commercials said "Happy Holidays" or "Seasons Greetings" instead of "Merry Christmas." But now that I've grown a little bit and started to figure out ways to back my arguments, I've become a little confused. I've heard people and magazines argue that saying Happy Holidays is belittleing the reason for the season. And that it puts Christmas on the same level as all other Holidays instead of recognizing it as the only true reason for celebration. I've agreed with this for a while, but upon thinking about it, why do we (Christians) work so hard to defend the phrase "Merry Christmas?" Shouldn't people know we are Christians by our love rather than our phraseology? And also, as Christians we are called to love everyone, no matter what religion. Is it loving to shove a "Merry Christmas" down a Jewish person's throat? And I don't think that by wishing someone a Happy Holiday you are denying your faith or anything. God listens to our hearts more than our words. I'm not saying that "Merry Christmas" should be completely eliminated by any stretch of the mind. I love wishing people a Merry Christmas, and that's what I usually say just because most of my friends are Christians or even if they aren't, most of them still celebrate Christmas. I'm not even saying that we should take Merry Christmas out of store windows and or commercials. I think it should be up to the person. I just don't think that there should be such a huge deal made out of it. Merry Christmas is great, and Happy Holidays is not evil. That being said, I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and very Happy Holidays.

"love song" - third day

2005-12-06T17:32:00.000-08:00

I've heard it said that a man would climb a mountain
Just to be with the one he loves
How many times has he broken that promise
It has never been done
Well I never climbed the highest mountain, but I walked the hill of Calvary
Just to be with you I'd do anything
There's no price I would not pay
Just to be with you I'd give everything
Oh I'd give my life away
And I've heard it said that a man would swim the ocean
Just to be with the one he loves
All of those dream are empty motion
It has never been done
Well I've never swam the deepest ocean, but I've walked upon the raging sea
Just to be with you I'd do anything
There's no price I would not pay
Just to be with you I would give everything
I would give my life away
And I know that you don't understand the fullness of my love
How I died upon the cross for your sins
And I know that you don't realize how much that I give you
And I promise I would do it all again
Just to be with you I've done everything
There's no price I did not pay
Just to be with you I gave everything
Yes I gave my life away
I gave my life away
Just to be with you

Thankful

2005-11-24T19:27:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving! Wow, to think about what I'm thankful for, really makes me smile. First of all, I just read Christopher's blog and it was hilarious! So I want to say that I am so thankful for my wonderful wonderful brothers. They are both the best brothers I could ever ask for. So funny, so clever and smart, so caring, and I love them so much. Which leads me to my parents. For those of you who don't know, I was incredibly blessed to be born into an awesome ministry that is unlike any other. A ministry that exists because of my wonderful God-fearing parents that responded to their call. They are also hilarious, clever, smart, and caring. They've done so much for me that I can't even begin to do them justice with my simple thanks in a blog. I'm so so blessed by my family.

My friends. Wow. My friends are crazy. I have some great friends through orhcestra and school that always, always make me smile. And they never let me go by a day with a bad mood without trying to make me smile. My discipleship group is awesome. Some d-groups aren't that close or don't really talk about God that much. Thankfully, mine does both! They are 5 people that I would do anything for. I could not imagine high school without them. I love them all so much. Each one of them with their stupid, weird, random, and crazy quirks. Mollie, Les, Brooke, Amy Kate, and Lindz- y'all are all stupid idiots that make really comfortable couch cushions even when you can't read, refuse to go to Kenya, and fall up the stairs. Lol! I love y'all to pieces!! (For those of you not in my d-group, don't worry. I wasn't insulting them, those are just some of our fun times!)

I'm also thankful for my extended family. I have wonderful grandparents. They are extremely gracious and so helpful. They try to go to all of mine and my cousins' concerts, recitals, games, and any other of the random stuff we do. I have no idea how they do it, and I love them so much. And my cousins are awesome too. So full of energy! I love my cousins on both sides of the family. I don't know what I'd do without Barnes and Noble trips, Katie! ;) I had Thanksgiving with my dad's side of the family today and it was completely relaxing. So laid back and calm. I loved it. Tomorrow (or by now, today) I'll have thanksgiving with my mom's side of the family. It will be a little on the crazier side. At the Thanksgiving today, there were 10 people. Only 3 of us were under 20 (in a few months it will be down to 2!) At Grandma's tomorrow, there will be 22 people. Nine of us will be under the age of 20. It will be loud and energetic. And I will absolutely love it. That's what's great about family. I always love them! And I'm blessed that I have the type of family that is so amazingly lovable.

Most importantly. My God. My Jesus. My Saviour. My Comfort. My best friend and biggest fan. God is so awesome. He put all the precious people in my life that I have listed above. And of course he made the ultimate sacrifice of his son just so I could live with him and be saved. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, then ask me and I will be more than happy to explain. I don't thank God enough for the amazing gifts that he has given me. I can't possibly. But I want to try. I hope you have enjoyed this entry, and I hope it has made you think about what is precious to you in your life. I love you all and have a great night. Happy Thanksgiving! ;)

Basketball

2005-11-17T18:48:00.000-08:00

When I was little, I played basketball all the time. I played in on our backyard court with my dad, brothers, and cousins and in the church Upward/Living Above the Rim league. In 3rd grade when went around the room and said what we wanted to be when we grew up, I said "WNBA." One of my favorite Barbies was my WNBA Barbie that had a magnet ball that stuck to her magnet hand and you flipped a switch on her back that made her "shoot." I was so excited whenever my dad took me to get new basketball shoes. In middle school, you couldn't be on the team when you were in 6th grade, but you could try out to be a manager where you practiced with the team, got them water, and had a garunteed spot on the team next year. I deffinately did that and loved it. But then the next year, I went back to church ball, started cheerleading, and in the next to last game of the church ball season (which did lost all but one game i think), I ripped some kind of tissue in my knee. I haven't played since then...Until tonight.

Some of my friends decided that it would be really fun to play church ball again this year, just for the heck of it. There was sweat, pain, and embarassment. I have never laughed so hard at a basketball practice in my life. It was hilarious! I think I only made 2 baskets the whole night. We did, oh excuse, we attempted to do the figure 8 drill and we had people running into to each other and falling all over the place. We also tried a defensive drill where you block a lay-up. We had to have a talk about how this wasn't powderpuff football. All I know is that one second I was about to shoot and the next I was smack on the ground. That wasn't the last time I was on the ground either. And many others were on the ground as well. We also made blocking out into a dance move and I think I will have a butt print on my thigh for a week. We probably looked so stupid and so far we're a horrible team of people that used to be good at basketballl. It was soooooo much fun! Not only because it was funny, but it was good to have that sore feeling in my throat from sprinting all over the place again. To have my legs ache, but still keep going. To completely shove someone out of the way to get your hand on a ball. To know that you can jump higher than any one else on the team (at least for tonight). Struggling to rip the ball from someone else till you end up on the ground. It's great. Now, don't get the idea that I'm actually good at this game. I haven't even exercised in many many months, but this was great and so much fun. I hope that everyone had a great and fun night. I love you all!

Stars

2005-11-09T20:06:00.000-08:00

I recently got the new Switchfoot album and have really fallen in love in the acoustic version of "Stars." Probably because the acoustic version sounds cool, I absolutely love acoustic guitars, and because I can relate to the song. I'm one of those people that everytime I get out of my car and it's dark, I look up. That's just how I am. When I pull into the drive way and shut the door I love to just look up at the stars. Have you ever noticed how incredibly beautiful stars are? There's not a lot of light near where I live and some nights it literally takes my breath away. I think that's the one place I can always find God. I sometimes struggle with not searching for God in the right way, or for the right reasons. And that frustrates me, because then I don't find him and feel deserted. But for some reason, that diamond speckled sky always makes me think of how awesome God is. The chorus of "Stars" says:
I've been thinking 'bout everyone
everyone, you look so empty/lonely
but when I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
I see someone else
When I look at the stars
I feel like myself

That just seems very applicable to me. I encourage you to go and seek out God through his creation, not what you expect from him. How do you understand an artist's style? You look at their artwork.

Shoes

2005-10-30T10:52:00.000-08:00

These are some fun shoes that Steph and I found while shopping Friday night. (the white ones are steph, obviously, and the pink ones are me)

Ok, that was pretty random and pointless but it was fun. I love putting pictures on this thing!! Anyway, I haven't written in this thing for a very long time and I apologize for that. Especially to Ea, Christopher, Kat, and other people that check blogs religiously. (If you do check my blog often and I didn't mention you, leave me a comment letteing me know so! I love comments!!) So, I hope everyone is doing well. I don't have too much to say really. And if I was going to get into anything it would take forever and I have to do my homework. So I love you all! and that's about it!

Movie Quotes

2005-10-26T17:52:00.000-07:00

Tonight I thought I'd take the time to share with y'all one of my favorite hobbies: MOVIE QUOTES! Yes, I love them! I'm on imdb.com all the time!! So here are a few of my favorites! (Not in order of favoritism)

"Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. NOBODY!" - White Goodman - Dodgeball

"Oh, I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you think that I thought I once was." - White Goodman - Dodgeball

"You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat!" - Patches O'Houlihan - Dodgeball

[singing] "We're knights of the Round Table, we dance whene'er we're able. We do routines and chorus scenes with footwork impec-cable, We dine well here in Camelot, we eat ham and jam and Spam a lot. / We're knights of the Round Table, our shows are for-mi-dable. But many times we're given rhymes that are quite un-sing-able, We're opera mad in Camelot, we sing from the diaphragm a lot. / In war we're tough and able, Quite in-de-fa-ti-gable. Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable / It's a busy life in Camelot [solo]: I have to push the pram a lot." - Knights of the Round Table - Monty Pyton and the Holy Grail

"Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who" - King of Swamp Castle - Monty Pyton and the Holy Grail

"It's just a flesh wound." - Black Knight- Monty Pyton and the Holy Grail

Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt.
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Peasant 3: ...I got better.
Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway! - Monty Pyton and the Holy Grail

"You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts" - French Soldier - Monty Pyton and the Holy Grail

The Witch: I'm not a witch I'm not a witch!
Sir Bedevere: But you a dressed like one
The Witch: They dressed me up like this!
Crowd: we didn't! We didn't...
The Witch: And this isn't my nose. It's a false one.
Sir Bedevere: [lifts up her flase nose] Well
Peasant 1: Well, we did do the nose.
Sir Bedevere: The nose?
Peasant 1: And the hat, but she is a witch!
Crowd: Yeah Burn her burn her!
Sir Bedevere: Did you dress her up like this?
Peasant 1: No!
Peasant 3, Peasant 2: No!
Peasant 3: No!
Peasant 1: No!
Peasant 3, Peasant 2: No!
Peasant 1: Yes!
Peasant 2: Yes!
Peasant 1: Yeah a Bit
Peasant 3: A bit!
Peasant 1, Peasant 2: A bit!
Peasant 2: a bit
Peasant 1: But she has got a wart!
Random Person in the crowd: *cough* *cough* - Monty Pyton and the Holy Grail

"When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that's what you're going to get, Lad, the strongest castle in all of England" - King of Swamp Castle - Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"We are the Knights who say... NI." - Knight 1

Knight 1: We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni.
Knight 2: NI.
Other Knights: Shh...
Knight 1: We are now the Knights who say..."Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm. - Monty Pyton and the Holy Grail

The Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead.
[a man puts a body on the cart]
Large Man with Dead Body: Here's one.
The Dead Collector: That'll be ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: What?
Large Man with Dead Body: Nothing. There's your ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.
Large Man with Dead Body: Yes he is.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not.
The Dead Collector: He isn't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm getting better.
Large Man with Dead Body: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
The Dead Collector: Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I don't want to go on the cart.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, don't be such a baby.
The Dead Collector: I can't take him.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel fine.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, do me a favor.
The Dead Collector: I can't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
The Dead Collector: I promised I'd be at the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, when's your next round?
The Dead Collector: Thursday.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I think I'll go for a walk.
Large Man with Dead Body: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel happy. I feel happy.
[the Dead Collector glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Body with his a whack of his club]
Large Man with Dead Body: Ah, thank you very much.
The Dead Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
Large Man with Dead Body: Right - Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Ivy Walker: When we are married, will you dance with me? I find dancing very agreeable. Why can you not say what is in your head?
Lucius Hunt: Why can you not stop saying what is in yours? Why must you lead, when I want to lead? If I want to dance I will ask you to dance. If I want to speak I will open my mouth and speak. Everyone is forever plaguing me to speak further. Why? What good is it to tell you you are in my every thought from the time I wake? What good can come from my saying that I sometimes cannot think clearly or do my work properly? What gain can rise of my telling you the only time I feel fear as others do is when I think of you in harm? That is why I am on this porch, Ivy Walker. I fear for your safety before all others. And yes, I will dance with you on our wedding night. - The Village

Alice Hunt: And what makes you think that he has feelings for me?
Lucius Hunt: The way he never touches you. - The Village

"There are different types of love." - Lucius Hunt - The Village

Lucius Hunt: Do you not wish you had your sight?
Ivy Walker: I see the world, Lucius Hunt. Just not as you see it. - The Village

"Yes, I have risked. I hope I am always able to risk everything for the just and right cause." - Edward Walker - The Village

Jamie: You know what I figured out today?
Landon: What?
Jamie: Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself. Like this journey never ends. Like you were sent to me because I'm sick. To help me through all this. You're my angel. - A Walk to Remember

Landon: I might kiss you.
Jamie: I might be bad at it.
Landon: That's not possible. - A Walk to Remember

Jamie: How can you see places like this... and have moments like this and not believe?
Landon: You're lucky to be so sure.
Jamie: It's like the wind. I can't... see it, but I feel it. - A Walk to Remember

Landon: I'm sorry she never got her miracle.
Reverend Sullivan: She did. It was you. - A Walk to Remember

Tad: Yeah, Pete told me if I ever hurt you; that he would tear me to pieces with his bare hands or with his vicious rhetoric.
Rosalee: Pete told you if you hurt me, he would tear you to pieces with his bare hands or with his vicious rhetoric? That is so... adorable. - Win a Date With Tad Hamilton

Young Noah: Get in the water.
Young Allie: No! I'm scared.
Young Noah: [yelling] Get in the water, woman! Get in the water!
Young Allie: [looks at him, puzzled]
Young Noah: [calmly] No I'm sorry baby, please just get in.
Young Allie: [hesitates]
Young Noah: [once his friends start yelling again] GET IN THE WATER! - The Notebook

Young Noah: You wanna walk with me.
Fin: What are you guys doing? Get in!
Young Allie: Yeah.
Young Noah: We're gonna walk.
Fin: Do you guys love each other?
[Young Noah snickers]
Fin: Oh I get it, you guys do love each other!
Young Noah: Okay. Goodbye - The Notebook

Allie: They fell in love, didn't they?
Duke: Yes, they did. - The Notebook

Allie: Do you think our love can make miracles?
Duke: I do. - The Notebook

Duke: ...But in spite their differences, they had one important thing in common, they were crazy about each other. - The Notebook

Young Noah: [humming] Bum,bum,bum,bum,bum,bum,bum,bum,bum,bum,bum,bum.
Young Allie: [laughing] You're a terrible singer.
Young Noah: I know.
Young Allie: [laying her head on his shoulder] But I like this song. - The Notebook

Ok, well I think that's it for tonight! I hope you enjoyed some of these quotes. And, well, if you didn't, I did! So it was worth it! God bless! I love y'all!

High School Is Puzzling

2005-10-20T16:06:00.000-07:00

Pictures are so much fun! Haha, sorry yall I'm kind of random tonight!

High school is weird. (Ok, so I know my title says "puzzling" but I feel like saying "weird" now.) Tonight we're having a huge pep rally (it includes watching Remember the Titans on a huge screen in A-wing parking lot, followed by, I think, some loud screaming and cheering and using words like "crush" and "bury" used in reference to Byrnes) for the game in which we are probably going to get horribly smothered like hash browns at a Waffle House after a Dorman game when it's busting with customers and having to slap meals together in 2 minutes. I know you liked that simile ;). Now I'm not saying that I'm not pulling for the Cavs. I'll probably yell and scream my head off for our boys, but come on. Let's face it. Byrnes is freaking 12th in the NATION! But hey, maybe God will have mercy on their souls...and their bones.

I also find it funny when we have assemblies that pull us out of class to tell us how important it is to graduate and not skip school. I may be the only person that really finds this ironic, but oh well I do. And you know what? It's my blog, so I can write about it if I want to. So if you don't like it, get over it and don't read it! Haha, no I'm just kidding. Please keep reading my blog. I want you to read my blog! And leave me a comment! Haha, I guess this shows another side of high school's weirdness and it's affect on young impressionable minds. Well, I guess I should get ready or something. I hope you all have a splendid night! I love y'all!

Some pictures of my favorite high school times! Haha, wow I'm feeling random tonight!

Quick List

2005-10-17T20:01:00.000-07:00

Things I'm really disliking at the moment:
-chemistry
-the whole idea of homework
-the burn on my tongue
-my cell phone battery
-my lack of time
-the fact that I haven't updated this thing in a while
-my contacts

Things I'm loving at the moment:
-Coldplay
-Derek Web
-super comfy pants
-wearing 2 shoes!
-pillows
-sleep
-cold weather
-sunrises (I know, I'm not a morning person, but they're so pretty and refreshing!)
-blankets
-hot chocolate
-The Village
-Christian love songs (sweet and holy)
-big hugs (I mean real ones, not the side wimpy ones! lol)
-football (not just watching, but playing too)
-starting to exercise
-going "brrrrrrrrr" with my mouth,you know like the horse noise
-making people smile! :D
-homestar runner
-seeing old friends

Ok, that wraps it up for tonight. I hope you enjoyed my little list, I know I did! Have a fabulous night and God bless! I love you all! ;)

Stretched

2005-10-10T19:33:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like you're being stretched in 15 different directions? I'm sure you do. It gets kind of exhausting. You try and please everyone because it's no fun to have people not happy with you. And you feel like you have to be there for everyone and you can't say no. I don't mean for this to sound like I don't like caring for people. I do. I love my friends and family dearly and always want to be there for them. And for the most part I really like (even love in some cases) all the tasks that I'm doing. But for some reason, i just haven't been happy. Or at least not as happy as I could be. And I think I'm beginning to figure out why. I haven't been to doing these things to make God happy or me happy. I've been doing them to make my teachers happy, or my parents happy, or my friends happy, or to fill up college applications. Not that they are bad things because they make those people happy, but everyonce in a while it's good to make me happy, you know. I know that this sounds like complaining and it probably is but I want to also say that if anyone else feels like this, tell me. It's nice knowing you aren't alone, and I wanna pray for you. I think praying for people makes me happy. :) Have a nice day!

Who Knew There Where Two Pendleton Streets?

2005-10-01T17:56:00.000-07:00

So I had an extremely eventful day. And after a half a tank of gas and a really sore calf muscle later, I am finally home. Let me tell you about it.

Stephanie and I decided to go the cheerleading competition at Easley High School and then to the Furman game and then home. Sound complicated? You wouldn't think so. But oh, how it is. So Steph and I are following these mapquest directions and following them very very closely and we were looking for S Pendleton Street and we thought we'd gone too far and were just about to turn around and all of the sudden we found a street sign that said "Pendleton." And so we got really excited that we had figured out where we were going. So we drove up and down Pendleton Street looking and searching for S Pendleton street for probably like 15 or so minutes but of course it seemed like forever. I saw a restaurant that looked really familiar and I realized that my grandmother had taken me there for my birthday one year. And then I looked to my left and saw downtown Greenville. For those of you who don't know Easley High School is not in Greenvill. Obviously it's in Easley! At that point we decided to stop and ask for directions. So we explain our situation to this lady at a gas station attendant and she was like, "Easley High School?! That's in Easley!" And we're thinking, "uh yea, we know that and that's why we're asking directions!" Of course we didn't say that. So she told us to go "that way." Really helpful. But we did end up figuring out where to go and found the Pendleton Street in Easley. So after leaving the cheerleading competition (both squads did awesome!!) we ended up making only 2 wrong turns, but we never completely got lost. So that was an improvement. I keep saying "we" went the wrong way, but I was the one driving, so I guesss it was my fault, but it was quite funny. Then, when leaving Furman, we decided to go to Checkers and I noticed that I knew the person behind me. So right as I was turning into Checkers, I waved to them and then realized that I had just turned into the exit. I was so embarrased, but then as we looked around, there was not entrance! There was just 2 exit signs and no other openings. So, we decided we didn't want to go to Checkers. All and all, it was a very long but good and fun and funny day. And now I'm watching an Andy Griffith marathon (I love it!!!) and enjoying it thouroughly. If only we could still have the simplicities as good ole Mayberry. Well, you all (if there is more than one of you that actually reads this), have a great night! And don't be shy to leave a comment! They brighten my day! Love y'all!

TV Craziness

2005-09-28T19:25:00.000-07:00

Have you noticed that most of the new shows now are what I consider freaky? For example, the show Lost. I'm sorry to my family and friends that are obsessed with the show, and yes it is interesting, but it's freaky! These people are trapped on an island with weird things happening that they can't explain, there's something about a big hole in the ground and someone living in it or something, there's a polar bear or something on the island, a dude that used to be paralyzed can all of the sudden walk, and I'm sure there's a whole bunch of other freaky stuff that has happened, because I've only watched 2 episodes. Another example: the show that my mother is currently watching. It's called Invasion, and so far it looks freaky. (I'm not in here by choice, it's where the computer is) There's death, unexplained creatures, and so far this blonde lady that seems kind of weird. Oh great, now there's a freaky priest or something. The freakiest part? All of this disaster was caused by a huge HURRICANE! As if people haven't been effected enough by hurricanes Katrina and Rita, there's now a show about the same type of disaster but with aliens thrown into the mix! Weird coincidence.

Ok, so what's my point? What happened to the happy shows that made you laugh? The days of Cheers, Night Court, The Cosby Show, Seinfield, Seinfield, Friends (I don't care who you are, you have to admit that it's funny), and Frasier? Why so much drama? If laughter is the best medicine aren't we hurting our health by getting so intrigued in these intricate webs of fabricated and exaggerated situations? Do yourself a favor. Watch a funny movie. Or even a romantic comedy to get that warm fuzzy feeling. Have a happy evening.

"Knights of Camelot: [singing] We're knights of the Round Table, we dance whene'er we're able. We do routines and chorus scenes with footwork impec-cable, We dine well here in Camelot, we eat ham and jam and Spam a lot. / We're knights of the Round Table, our shows are for-mi-dable. But many times we're given rhymes that are quite un-sing-able, We're opera mad in Camelot, we sing from the diaphragm a lot. / In war we're tough and able, Quite in-de-fa-ti-gable. Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable / It's a busy life in Camelot
[solo]
Knights of Camelot: I have to push the pram a lot." .....Now didn't that make you smile? :)

Epiphany

2005-09-18T11:52:00.000-07:00

I've discovered that I'm not that great at coming up with titles for this thing, but I'm working on it. This morning I was sitting in Sunday School and to be perfectly honest, I didn't want to be there. I didn't feel good, I was really tired, I didn't like my outfit at all, my ankle really hurt from standing at football games, and I just wasn't happy. But I looked up and saw a poster for this thing called Shift. It said it was for juniors and seniors to learn about college and I'm guessing staying godly at it, and all that good stuff. Well, it said the conference was on April 19, and I thought, "That's almost at the end of the year." And then I realized that next year will be my last year of high school. Then that's it. I won't be going back. It hit me that the future is a lot closer than I think it is. And then I realized that I'm not making the memories I want to have for my high school career. I'm being lazy thinking that I have all the time in the world to make the most of my life right now. I don't want to remember high school as just a time in my life where I was stressed out and had a few good times. I know it sounds really cliche-ish and I don't like cliches that much, but I want to remember high school as being on fire for God and being sold out to Him. Yes, I love God and I'm not ashamed to say that I've been saved and washed by the pouring blood of God's son Jesus Christ. I guess a better way to put it is that I want to be passionate for God and the life he has planned for me. Some definitions of passion include "boundless enthusiasm" and "something that is desired intensely." I want to know enthusiasm that has no limits! I want to want something so intensively that it's what I live for! I guess my point is, we will never be in the same position or have the same opportunities that we have today. There's not time to wait until our workload or the pressure we're under or our new situations get easier or more comfortable. This is the time. I know this probably sounds like a common Wednesday night youth group sermon, and you're probably thinking, "Ok, Shari, you're behind. Everyone knows all this, get with the program," but I didn't believe it until I figured it out for myself. There's a possibility that I'm just making my situation dramatic, but I don't want the casual life that I've been leading to consume my memories. so basically, let's rise.

But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said:
"Wake up, O sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you."
Be very careful, then, how you live, —not as unwise but as wise,
-Ephesians 5:13-15

Fun!

2005-09-17T08:45:00.000-07:00

This past evening i was reminded that sometimes it is indeed fun to be a teenager. Last night before the Dorman game I went out with my closest orchestra (and lunch! hehe!) buds to Ruby Tuesday's (even thought I'd been there for lunch as well). Then we went to the Dorman game, which to be quite honest was the worst part of the whole evening. There were so many drunk people in the student section and no one was even paying attention to the game, it was sad. The drumline even left the student section because no one was getting into to it and having fun! It was pathetic! But a little after halftime I left the student section just because the smell of excessive alcohal was naussiating. Over on the other side of the stadium it was a little better. But after that was when the fun began. We had our biggest crowd ever at Marble Slab!! Yay! The tradition continues with a new record! We had 12 people there! I think. Of course it was fun and hilarious because it always is with those people, and Mollie was happy because the manager of Marble Slab gave her a balloon. Then the d-group minus Lindsey, plus Mary headed to 5th Quarter which really was more fun than we thought it would be. Five of us had a ping-pong tournament that didn't have any out of bounds which was quite hilarious. At this point, Mollie still had her balloon tied to her wrist which made it interesting when it would get in her way. We headed to my house and then Mollie's with 5 of us cramed into my little car with windows rolled down with Grits and some other random music blaring.

At Mollie's a few of us had a long talk about Christianity and the effects it has on our school. Lately, I've been just incredibly discouraged looking around at our student population thinking "Ok, I have my small group of friends that I know is saved, but is there anyone else?" It was kind of encouraging to hear that I'm not the only one that thinks that. After our little talk, we watched Phantom of the Opera. Oh my gosh, that movie is amazing!!! Not only is it an awesome story, but the music is AMAZING!!! Andrew Lloyd Webber is a genius. Not only were the voices and melodies great, but the orchestratian that went along with it was fabulous!! Ok, so that's my opinion of the movie. I ended staying up till 9 in the morning. That's right. After staying up all night with only two 10 minute power naps, at 9 in the morning I decided that I was tired (even though I was being poked to stay awake) and slept for an hour. I think that pretty much concludes fun Friday night evening of festivites. Today is the Furman game!!! Woo hoo!!! Go Paladins!! I can't wait! Ooh, I get chills thinking about the team running out on the field out of the inflated helmet between the two rows of band people. Ooh! Yay, ok I'm excited! Well, I'll let you know how that goes. Love y'all!

2005-09-08T19:30:00.000-07:00

You know how sometimes you can be surrounded by hundreds of people but still feel completely alone. Even when you're with your best friend sometimes, you can feel alone. It's amazing how unique each person's circumstance is and how differently each person handles certain situations. But in the same way, you can be completely alone and feel so supported and loved and not at all alone.

For those of you who don't know, I have a cousin that I'm very very close to. She's an only child and I have no sisters, so we're more like sisters to each other. In looks, we're almost complete opposites. Tall vs. short, blonde hair vs. brown hair and so forth. But we'll act and think the same way sometimes. This cousin is also 2 years older than me and has just gone to college. When she was still in Sparkle City, there were many times when one of us would call up the other (usually when we had a problem) and we'd meet at Barnes & Noble and get mocha fraps (my fav!). The other day, I was craving some coffee just because I was so worn out with school and violin and I needed a sugar/cafine high. So, I went to Barnes & Noble and it was amazing. It was the safest and most satisfied I had felt in weeks just knowing that that place held so many memories. Sure there were a couple of people I knew there doing their homework and stuff, but I wasn't with anyone. I was only in there for like 2 minutes, and yet God still took the opportunity to nudge me and say, "Hey, remember all those times. You're loved. Not just by me, but there's people out there that truly love you and you aren't alone. You don't have to feel so deserted." Of course after that, I cried half-way home but the moral of the story is we're never alone. Not only will God never leave or forsake you, but there are people out there who love you. Not like high school dating "love" or my crazy "love" of Gilmore Girls, but real love.

This might be one of those things that only makes sense to me. Or if you're reading this you might be thinking, "Ok, so she had some fun times with her cousin. Whoopdi-do." And if it doesn't make sense, I'm sorry. Sometimes the thoughts in my head aren't really made of up words, and those who know me best know that in those cases I make really odd noises and motions, but I can't very well do that on the computer. When all of this happened, it reminded me of a very personal song:

I'm all alone again
No one here to feel the same
I didn't mean for it to be this way
Why am I a recluse
As the breeze passes
I realize I'm alone

I'll keep pressing on
But it's not fair God
Do you realize that
Do you realize I'm in pain
I can't find you
All I have is faith
But even that is weak
I don't wanna be alone anymore

Do they know I'm here
Or am I invisible
I try to hold the tears but they still seep out
As the emptiness
Fills my ear I realize
that I'm alone

I'll keep pressing on
But it's not fair God
Do you realize that
Do you realize I'm in pain
I can't find you
All I have is faith
But even that is weak
I don't wanna be alone

Where is that comforting power I read about?
Where are your loving arms?
I'm giving you all I have
I wanna feel your grace
Your presence

I'm surrenduring
My heart and love to you
You heal me with your loving arms
Pouring out your love
You have found me
All I want is embrace, your comforting power
Lord, I know I'm not alone anymore

Ok, sorry for the like super serious post. Class was boring today so I had a lot of time to think about stuff. I promise that my next one will be more light hearted. I hope everyone has a great day. Love y'all!

Kat is the Coolest Person Ever

2005-09-06T13:39:00.000-07:00

First of all, Steven is helping me write this today. And I think Kat is having some input too. Hence the title. I didn't bring my violin home from school in a sneaky attempt not to practice (not really!! I had a reason I promise!) but my brilliant mother figured out my clever plot (It wasn't a plot!) and reminded me that there was another violin here anyway. Drat!
-In that paragraph, all the stuff in parenthesis was me. The rest was steven and Kat. I didn't bring my violin home for a good reason.

Kat bought this cool purple shirt yesterday that she was like destined to own. So she went to Target cause she needs clothes because hers are all under water 10 hours away. And she'd been looking for a shirt like this. And she was disappointed because the color that she wanted didn't have the size she wanted. but then the clearance rack was saying, "Kat! Come to me! come look at me!" so she went and followed the voice of the God blessed clearance rack. It was like a burning bush surrounded by a silver ring of stylish but not too expensive clothes. And it was $7.50. And God said, "It is good."

Steven can no longer be a part this blog writing experience because he is going to Wal-mart to buy soap.

Shari is temporarily away because she is popping her back. And her hips. And her knee. There's a whole lotta poppin' going on.

Annnnnd...she's back.

Whew! I feel better. So I think this blog is coming to an end even though it was lots and lots of fun. It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. I hope you've had the time of your life.

Waiting to Hatch

2005-09-04T22:15:00.000-07:00

I know that the name of this blog may not make a whole lot of sense, but I'm going to put forth an effort to explain it. I'm a big fan of C. S. Lewis. He was a brilliant man that spent many years comtemplating and wrestling with some of life's biggest and most complex questions. Not only that, he had a pretty decent sense of humor which is always appreciated. He had a wonderful gift of taking complicated ideas and putting them into metaphors that made more sense. That being said, here's the quote that I got my idea from:

"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad."

Many many times, I find myself trying to "fly" in certain areas of my life in which I haven't "hatched" yet. In this lifestyle, it seems encouraged to take shortcuts and skip steps and as a result our goal is less fulfilling, less meaningful, and all around just not as good as it could be. I want to fly. Not just hop off the ground a little bit. Therefore I'm an egg, waiting to hatch.